


Why does it rain on Utopia?

by chewtoy03



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/F, Family, Fluff, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sex, Vanity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 05:17:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 29,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15332613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chewtoy03/pseuds/chewtoy03
Summary: A view in to Vanessa and Charity's life 4 years later on, their journey shown through flashbacks and the issue that they face moving forward as a couple.Ps. Yes, I am the person who is going to bring Kirin back in to the story. I am suspecting some haters.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first venture in Vanity multi chapter.
> 
> The story is set in 2022, but parts of the story travel back to various years throughout Vanity's time together. I'm hoping the story makes sense how it reads, if not please let me know and I will alter how I lay it out. 
> 
> Comments good or bad always welcome!

Vanessa and Chirty where enjoying a rare morning to themselves, or not so rare now that Noah had finally gone off to university and Moses and Johnny had spent their friday night sleepover at Grandpa Frank’s house. They had quickly fallen in to a routine, the first to wake up (usually Charity due to drayman coming in at least 4 times a week at daft o’clock,) would make a cup of tea, sneak a packet of biscuits (Ness hated crumbs in the bed) before enjoying a couple of blissful hours tucked up together before the boys came back.

“You know it’s a thing right? Lesbian bed death.” Charity has deposited her silk robe and slipped herself between the sheets, eager fingers trailing a hot path on Ness’ thigh.

“I am aware it is a thing Charity, however when you have as sex as much as we do I don’t think it really can be applied. Believe me I have absolutely no complaints but you must admit your sex drive has got to be as bad as Noah’s.”

“Oh don’t.” Charity sat up in bed, her modesty falling away from her as she sat upright cupping her brew in her hands. “Some horrible images are being conjured, I do not wish to be reminded when I saw him with Beth. My fragile mind cannot cope with that.”

“Three bottles of wine will do that to you.” She gripped the stylus in her teeth as she thought out the sudoku puzzle in front of her. 

“I believe the expression is it takes two to tango.”

“You are correct.” She typed in the number six in to the the top left hand corner before going back to her thoughts. “But this half of the tango seems to still be able to recover better than you.” Charity sunk down further and looked at Vanessa, mug still in her hands and blinking unashamedly at her girlfriend. “I am actually googling average times per week people have sex.” She switched screens and began to type her question in to google. “You ripped my jumpsuit last night trying to get it off because you were more concerned about getting me off than waiting for me to undo the hook and zip.”

“Babe, your chest was practically screaming to be released from it’s confines.” 

“I wasn’t even wearing a bra, you already had one less item to remove, you owe me.”

“Shouldn’t have dropped your chest on to the table whilst I was eating. I nearly choked on my pudding.”

“If you were a bloke you’d be walking around with a permanent hard on.” Charity thought about it for a moment, raised her eyebrows and decided it was probably best not to argue, Ness was right. Four years together and she would still take any opportunity to whisper something dirty or sieze a cheeky squeeze at a risque moment. “Lesbian bed death.” Ness read aloud. “Huh, what do you know, is a real thing, when you reach 46. There’s medical research backing it up, it says your hormone levels begin to drop, you stop producing oestrogen, dopamine levels also drop.You also produce less serotonin, which is well...” She rolls her eyes and flicks her eyebrows to look at Chrity who is sat there open mouthed. “Plays a major part in arousal. Looks like you’re lucky for the the moment babe, no complaints in that department, we better make the most of you before your body rejects your advances. Shame I’m not really feeling it, I’m the same age as you, my body must be slightly ahead of yours.”

“You cannot be serious!” Charity slams her mug down on the side, the contents splashing everywhere as she grasps hold of Vanessa’s ipad. “Give that here.” Ness watches as Charity’s eyes dart across the screen at the article she was reading. “What does any of this mean? Neurotransmitters ace… acety. How do you understand any of this?” She unceremoniously dumped the tablet back on the bed and glared at her girlfriend. 

“It means I can outwit Charity Dingle.” She pulled her lips together desperately trying not to burst out with laughter. “That’s just a paper on breeding cows and theories how to improve stock.” This time she let her laughter rip through her as Charity picked up on of the many scatter cushions and thumped Vanessa with one. “Had you going though didn’t I?” Vanessa’s eyes had lit up with glee as Charity reach over to pull her closer. 

\--

Charity appeared from the shower unashamedly allowing her body to air dry and her hair that had been rough dried hung limply across her shoulders as she sauntered back in to their bedroom.

“Novelty still not worn off yet?”

“Of me being able to walk around my own house naked without the threat of two boys or a moody teenager catching me? Besides, it’s a good way to try and entice you back in to bed.”

“No Charity and for god sakes, open a window, it must stink in here of sex.”

“I’ll tell you what.” She sat down on the edge of the bed as Ness sat in front of their vanity unit applying her makeup. Charity leant back on right arm and crossed her legs before tossing her damp hair off her shoulders. “For breaking your jumpsuit, how about I take you in to town and buy you something new to wear?”

“We have the boys, we both know that dragging two seven year olds shopping is a bad idea.”

“Well, the thing is...” Charity shifted herself off the bed to stand behind Vanessa who was now looking at Charity through the reflection. “Debs has agreed to have the boys until the evening, I thought we could have a day to ourselves.”

“What about the bar, the boys, they have nothing to wear...”

“Oh for god sake Ness I’m trying to do something nice here. When was the last time we spent a day together, and no, I don’t mean sex, I mean a day that wasn’t involving the kids or us on our friday dinner date? A day with me, does that sound so bad?” She fingered a strap on her girlfriend’s top as she pouted slightly. 

“No actually, it sounds like heaven. And you owe you me that jumpsuit.”

Charity took the opportunity to peak down Ness’ top, sliding the strap a little further down her arm before bending down a little closer to allow her body to make contact. “I’ve changed my mind, I don’t think I’ll be replacing last night’s outfit, I think you could do with some new underwear.”

“Charity...”

“Oh come on babe, live a little. You know how much I love a red number on you. Preferably some lace that trails along here.” She traced a finger across the swell of Ness’ breast before standing upright. “Now shift. I need to do my makeup.”

\--

In the four years Vanessa and Charity had been together a lot had changed, it seemed that all the shit that had been thrown at them when they were first together had finally been bundled up and left behind. It had taken Charity standing up in court to get the conviction she had waited nearly 28 years to get. The verdict had come back unanimous; guilty. Charity had envisioned her reaction if Bails was ever found guilty, she pictured a smug look, instead she found herself collapsing, her stomach gave way and she had been grateful for Vanessa propping her upright and giving her a bag to throw up in. 13 years. It wasn’t the maximum sentence but it was justice for the hell he had put her through all those years ago. 

The hell had continued for the Dingle family when Chas went in to labour nearly full term, they knew the inevitable but they had the precious few hours with their little girl that they were so desperate for. Margarita Kirk stuck, she was named seven months ago and it felt right to give her the name they had used for all that time. Paddy had been desperate for their little girl to be able to help other children but the doctors had advised against it, she was simply to poorly. Margarita was born on the 25th of October and died on the same day. Paddy and Chas had had a short ceremony, they didn’t want to make a fuss, they only wanted the people there who mattered, who had been there for baby Margarita. Weeks went by and turned into months as Vanessa and Charity both felt them completely withdraw from the outside world, they had understood that they both needed time and offered them as much as they needed. As much as Ness and Charity gave the couple their space and time it had become increasingly hard on the pair of them. Christmas meant longer hours and more functions in the pub for Charity and before they knew it January had rolled round which meant lambing season for the vets. With Paddy barely being able to work and Vanessa still suspended they had no way of keeping up the demand. Rhona and Vanessa did their best but in the end came to the conclusion they were going to need a locum to help cover the last 2 months. There’d be times were the vet who wasn’t supposed to be on call was yanked out their bed on a cold wintery night as the other was already tied to another job. Vanessa had nearly pulled out all her hair not being able to respond to callouts, she still kept her phone on throughout the night despite protests from Charity as it did mean she was able to help Rhona and the locum prioritise. She did also give advice over the phone to some of the more experienced farmers, she knew she shouldn't and would be risking everything if a complaint was made but the difference between life and death to an animal was all that mattered at that point. As a result of the all the extra callouts it tripled the paperwork and trying to sort it out and cope with Pearl’s antiquated system resulted in Ness’ patience wearing very thin. Due to the combination of poor job timings, day to day commitantments, and kids, they had little time to themselves. 

It has seemed their hardship had finally broken in the April when Sarah had news that a donor heart had been found and she was going to be given a second chance. Vanessa had sat at home with all the kids, plus Jack, praying that everything went exactly to plan. Charity had promised to call her as soon as there was any news, it was an agnosing six hours but she had finally received the call that Sarah had pulled through and was currently in recovery. All the boys had gone to bed with the exception of Noah who had chosen to shut himself away in his bedroom. Vanessa had knocked gently and asked if she could come in, she was met with a grunt and found the moody teenager in his gaming chair. When she told the news to him she could see him freeze and a small tear slip down him face, she saw how remarkably similar he was to his mother in guarding his emotions and chose that moment to leave. A hand had grabbed her and she felt a strong young man pull himself in to her and the flood gates open. She had no idea how long she had stood there like that, holding him, offering no words, just soft strokes on his back. When Noah had finally let her go he stopped and looked Vanessa directly in the eyes, holding the eye contact for several moments; it seemed like an entire conversation had happened. Nothing further was ever said about that particular moment.

Sarah had finally been allowed home in the last week of April, Charity, Debbie and Joe had scrubbed the house from top to bottom. Joe had offered to pay for a professional cleaning company to do the job but Debbie wanted to know it had been done properly and so they spent the best part of four days bleaching every surface to prevent Sarah picking up anything. It was two days before the end of the month when Sarah said she wasn't feeling well, her temperature began to spike, her breathing became shallow and she was immediately taken back in to hospital only to be found that she was rejecting the heart. The doctors kept increasing her immunosuppressants to try and stop her body rejecting the heart but in the end it became too much for Sarah, the drugs they had given her had weakened her body’s natural defences so much so she caught an infection. For the Dingle family it felt like the final nail in the coffin. On the 6th of may, exactly 1 month before Sarah’s 15th birthday she gave up her fight.

 

Vanessa had been with Veronica, her least favourite client, trying to suture an apparent future show jumping star. Vanessa had nearly said the horse would be destined for the meat man if she couldn’t get the sutures in, it wouldn’t have happened if the stupid women hadn’t given the young colt to an inexperienced yard hand. The poor lad had obviously had a dressing down by Veronica and had wisely sloped of to another barn, she could hear her phone going off repeatedly in her pocket and it was beginning to irritate Veronica who asked her to ‘turn that thing off and concentrate on sorting out Wigbert.’ She ignored the woman’s protests and stripped herself of her latex gloves and immediately saw the 25 missed calls from Charity, her phone had rung again whilst in her hand and she immediately had picked up. Vanessa didn’t even have enough time to say hello before she was met with a sobbing Charity asking her to come home, her heart sank as she heard the news they had all be dreading. Ness had no choice but to ask Rhona to come down and finish the job, dropping her phone back in to her pocket she turned around to find a stoney faced owner staring at her demanding she come back and finish what she started. Vanessa had tears running down her face as she looked at Veronica and she finally snapped, she unleashed exactly what Charity had in the previous December. She told Veronica exactly what she thought of her, she asked if she remembered the ‘pound shop Kim Basinger’ from the pub who gave her a gobful and threw her out. She barely stopped for breath before informing the vile individual that she was her partner and at the moment her granddaughter had just died so she was needed somewhere more important than her yard. She gathered up her tools and vials as quickly as she could and turned to look at Veronica who tried to open her mouth; she was promptly told Rhona would be finishing the job and she could have it for free as it would be the last time she ever went near her as long as she lived.

\--

“Don’t be embarrassed babe, come on let me have a look.” Charity leant on the door to the changing room as she waited for Vanessa to try on the lingerie she had picked out for her. Ness opened the door and Charity did her best to suppress a smile. “I think we need a bigger size babe, you appear to be popping out over the top of that one.” Charity poked the top of her bulging breast before Vanessa shoved her girlfriend away and locked the door once more. With a devilish grin she wandered off to find a bigger size and came back to lean on the wall once more. “I don’t know why you won’t let me come in and help you.”

“I’ve told you why at least twelve times! Ah shit.”

“Are you stuck?”

“It’s these bloody hooks.”

“Ness?” When Charity received no response she picked the lock and was met with her girlfriend and a bassinet twisted around her waist as she furiously tried to undo the fastenings.

“Charity! What the hell are you doing?”

“Helping you out. No funny business I swear.” She took hold of the bassinet and turned to face her girlfriend. “Whatever you have done here?” Charity twisted the item back to where it should be and began to work backwards. “There.” Ness felt the lingerie fall away from her body as the bigger size was thrust in front of her. “Just let me put this on you otherwise I’ll be nearly dead by the time we get out of here.”

Ness leant her head back as she felt her girlfriend slide the material in position. “Lesbian bed death, it’s a thing ya know.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am still running through Vanity's back story before we get to Kirin, I would like readers to understand how Vanessa and Charity react the way they do. I'll be honest, this chapter is quiet a depressing one but pivotal to the story moving forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all thank you those who reviewed and left kudos.
> 
> I am still running through Vanity's back story before we get to Kirin, I would like readers to understand how Vanessa and Charity react the way they do. I'll be honest, this chapter is quiet a depressing one but pivotal to the story moving forward.
> 
> I have also written separate chapters that fill in and explain other areas of this story but do not quite fit in this story. I will post these at once they have been tweaked. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, thoughts, comments or constructive criticism always welcome.

They say bad luck comes in threes, in the Dingle family it just seems one continuous run. Vanessa had mused to herself that should they ever get married that it would probably best if Charity took her name just to save on any more bad karma. That little nugget of information had never passed her lips, Charity was not a flight risk any more but they had never had the discussion of marriage, it would be her girlfriend’s fourth wedding but she had never had that luxury of having that special day to share with someone. It was a thought that played on her mind occasionally.

It was late June when she received a sharp knock at the door, it was only by chance that she was in as the baby sitter had called in sick and she had to take the afternoon off as a result. If she was perfectly honest with herself it was such a relief to be able to have an afternoon to catch up the the giant pile of washing and cleaning that had built up over the course of the week. Whilst sorting out the washing into piles it occurred to her that half the washing was either Charity’s or Moses’, christ knows the two of the them spent enough time over here. It had occurred to Vanessa that at some point they were going have to have the moving in talk, the trailing between the two households was ridiculous and she was fed up of trying to divide everything in to piles for Charity to take with her or visa versa. Tracey and David’s divorce had gone through and she had managed to buy a small two bedroom flat nearby as a result of the money from the house, so technically she did have a free bedroom for Noah. When she really thought about it, the house was too small, the two boys really could do with their own rooms and Noah needed his own room, he had definitely hit puberty running. Ness had caught him on more than one occasion kneeling beside his bed doing his best to cover up what he was up to. She shuddered at the thought. She flicked her eyes over to Johnny who was sat on the floor playing with his lego, building some sort of fort for his dinosaurs. With an armful of washing she opened the door to be face with a smart woman standing in a suit, Vanessa immediately assumed it would be for Charity, after all the crap with Bails she still received support from the police.

“Hello, can I help you?”

“Hello, my name is Jennifer Allan, I’m from Macallan solicitors, I was looking to speak with Vanessa Woodfield.”

“Yes?” Ness furrowed her eyebrows at the woman, she wasn’t sure what she was doing at her house, nothing had happened that had required a solicitor since she was temporarily struck off.

Jennifer felt this was going to be a difficult one and tried the direct approach. “May I come in?”

“Sorry, I can’t, do you have any ID?”

“I can offer you my card, you are most welcome to ring the number on the website to confirm who I am.”

Vanessa took the card and eyed it, turning it over in her hand. “What do you want?”

“I think it would be best to talk inside, I’m from a solicitors who specialise in wills and probate.”

Ness was beginning to get wound up, she had no idea who this woman was or what she wanted, nor did she has any reason to trust her. “I’m serious, you have 10 seconds to tell me why you are here before I slam this door in your face.”

“It’s about your mother, Mary Woodfield?” Jennifer witnessed Vanessa’s jaw cross and her face harden.

“Come in.” She stepped aside. “Have a seat.” Ness closed the door, dumping the washing at the foot of the stairs before shutting the door. “Would you like a cup of tea or coffee?” Internally Vanessa cursed herself, she has always tried to be polite first and foremost, what she really wanted to say was ‘tell me what you want or get the hell out of my house!’

“Coffee please, just black.”

“Hmm, fits.” Ness muttered quietly as she let the uneasy few minutes pass as she made the hot drinks before passing Jennifer the hot mug. She sat down at the opposite end of the sofa, pushing herself as close as Johnny who had merely looked at the woman and continued to play with his toys. Vanessa had clocked that Jennifer had made no effort to interact with her son let alone even ask about him, clearly more focused on climbing the greasy pole than having kids.

“I need to ask you a couple of questions if that’s ok before I can continue.” Vanessa felt like she was being conned, after the whole Gerry-dead-uncle debacle she found herself more cagey at strangers turning up on her doorstep asking about her mother. “Your mother’s full name was Mary Linda Woodfield and her birthday was the 10th of May 1956?” A nod came from Vanessa. “Can you confirm your full name, date of birth and where you were born?” 

“Vanessa Elizabeth Woodfield, 7th of March 1976 at Airedale hospital. Are you going to tell me what this is about or do you need my inside leg measurement before we continue?” 

“I know it seems I’m being cagey and I promise I will explain everything after this last query.” Vanessa felt like she was being treated like a four 4 year old who was being bargained with. “Are you aware of your mother’s last known address or the area where she lived?”

“Yes, she lived in Jesmond Road, Harrogate. I saw her last year.”

The solicitor gave a nod, satisfied that the information she had been given fitted. “As I said, I’m from Macallan solicitors and I specialise with wills and probate, your mother set up her will with us.” She took a shaky breath, she had never had actually had to do this on her own before and felt as though she was making a right hash of it. “I’m afraid I have some bad news, your mother, she hadn’t been well for some time, she passed away a couple of weeks ago.” Vanessa sat there numb, she had no reaction at the information that had just been given to her or the stream of drivel that was still coming from this insipid woman’s mouth. Instead, she picked up her cup of tea and curled her hand around the mug, sinking back into the furniture. For a fleeting moment she thought back to last year where her girlfriend had been in exactly the same position as she was now, dealing with one of the biggest events of her life, except she was here on her own. “I’m sorry I’ve had to tell you like this, I understand it is a shock. There’s a lot we need to go through but I think we’ll need to speak another day. I’m going to leave some paperwork for you to read, my card is on the top, please call me when you feel you are ready.” Jennifer leant forward and place her hand on Vanessa’s knee. “Is there someone I can call for you?”

Bang on cue, Charity flung open the door with a bang, announcing her arrival blabbering on about how Sainsburys was full of twats and nitwits and why were they all free and chose to shop on a thursday evening. Her attentions were immediately turned to the woman who currently had her left hand on her girlfriend’s knee. “And who’s this?” She unceremoniously dumped the shopping bags on to the table as Jennifer removed her hand after a deathly glare from Charity.

“Chatty!” Johnny looked up, his little eyes shining and pudgy arms extending at the sight of his favourite person. Despite the fact he could now say Charity’s name perfectly he still insisted on calling her Chatty, she smiled kindly as she bent down to scoop the little fella up. 

“God you’re getting heavy.” She smiled and kissed him on the cheek as he placed his arms around her neck. “Babe? Everything ok?” She placed a hand on her partner’s shoulder and gave a squeeze, she felt a hand come up and grasp her own. “Babe?” When no response came she realised something was seriously was wrong, she shifted Johnny to the side of her hip and pushed in front of Ness. “What have you done?”

Jennifer stood up, the other woman who had just crashed into the room had a look about her, green eyes where as hard as flint and her body language showed she obviously cared but simultaneously was prepared to fight. “My card’s there, call me when you are able to.” She tightly smiled before smoothing out any creases in her suit, truth be told the woman stood in front of her was scaring the living daylights out of her and she was desperate to get out of the house as fast as she was allowed.

Charity untangled Johnny from her hips and placed him back down on the floor once more as she followed the women to the door before closing it with a gentle click. Charity counted to ten before she went back in to the living room, the old her would have thought the worst of the situation immediately and her gob would have ran before she had any chance of doing any damage control. “Hey.” She knelt in front of Ness, placing both hands on opposite knees. “Babe, talk to me, I can’t help you if you won’t tell me.” A polished finger pointed to the paperwork on the table. “Ok babe. Can I look?” She looked for an answer in Ness’ blue eyes, they were as empty as she had ever seen them. “Babe?” Charity took hold of the card and the small stack of paperwork. “Jennifer Allan, solicitor, wills and probate.” Her face drained of colour, Ness has told her about her previous scare and her stomach had immediately hit the floor, the worst thoughts imaginable bounced around her head.“Babe, please don’t tell me...”

“No, not me, my mum. Two weeks ago.”

“Oh my god babe.” If Charity was totally honest with herself she didn't really know how to react in these situations, she was normally the one on the receiving end of them. The one thing she had learnt from Vanessa in their time together was a bit of human contact went a long way. Chucking the paperwork back on the coffee table for another day she reached for Ness, wrapping long arms around her as she kissed the top of her head, what she didn’t expect was the quiet that emanated from her girlfriend. On the rare occasions they fought Ness was the one of them who wasn’t afraid to show her emotions, who wasn’t afraid to show Charity she was upset and in pain, this version of Vanessa was freaking her out. It was like someone had switched off a light and nothing would turn it back on. Charity didn’t look at the clock to see how long they stayed like they did but it was Ness who ended the embrace.

“Right, I better put Johnny to bed.” She stood, brushing the invisible marks of her jeans as she bent down to speak to Johnny. “Hey little man, what’s say me and you have a bath and then we can read Winnie the Pooh and see what he and piglet have been up to today?”

“Ness,” Charity caught her arm as Ness grabbed Johnny. “I can put Johnny to bed.”

“It’s fine.”

\--

Charity sat downstairs as she heard the shrieks of joy from Johnny as he splashed about in the bath. She was supposed to have picked Moses up from Debs after her shift had ended and she’d been shopping for supplies. Charity had tried shopping with the two boys before and it was the equivalent of the apocalypse; that particular Asda she had nearly been banned from thanks to the troublesome twosome and was now avoided at all costs. She had messaged Debbie asking her if she could keep hold of Moses for the night, Debbie had merely come up with a snarky response about her wanting yet another night in alone with Vanessa. Charity didn’t bite, she told Debbie she was ok but something had happened that needed to be sorted.

Another forty minutes passed and Chaity was sure that Johnny would have normally been asleep by now, the kid had to be the easiest in history to put to bed, he was literally clockwork. Bath at 6.30pm, dry off, in bed by 7pm and out for the count by quarter past. It was now approaching 8pm and Charity was getting worried, Ness hadn’t come back down and she couldn’t hear any more sounds from Johnny’s room. Shifting herself off the sofa she quietly trod up the stairs, recalling the third step from the top gave a squeak if it wasn’t trod on to the left. Peering into the second bedroom she found Johnny sparko as she suspected but no sign of Vanessa, rounding the frame of their bedroom she found her girlfriend sat on the floor surrounded by a box containing multiple photos. She was momentarily touched to find that she featured in several of them, and not just her, Noah, Moses, Ryan, Debs, it seemed most of the Dingle family had wingled its way in there at some point. The photos that Ness had pulled out were tinged slightly, the odd ones in black and white that were sprawled out in front of her, her face was still blank and for some reason the usual emotion that was so ready to be exposed couldn’t be broken.

“Ness.” Charity wasn’t going to ask a stupid question as ‘are you ok’ or ‘what are you doing,’ it was bloody obvious. “Let me get you into bed.” The familiar sight of Vanessa rolling her lips and licking her tongue like she did when she was in deep thought brought Charity a moment of relief as Ness pulled herself to sit on the bed. “I’m just going to pop these back in the box ok babe? We don’t want them damaged.” Ness nodded as she plucked the comforter and allowed her girlfriend to scoop the photos back in to the box and tuck it safety under the bed. Charity noticed she still held on to one particular photo, she gently took it out of her hand and laid it on the bedside cabinet. “I’m just gonna pop this there so we can get you undressed.” She felt she needed to explain everything, it helped her cope too with the uneasiness of the situation. Charity went through the motions and finally managed to wrangle Ness into an old t-shirt and remove her jeans. It was like watching a lifeless puppet, it was horrible, the ache in her chest must has been what Ness had felt all those times that she had been there for her, all those times she had to be strong for her. She would never, ever, forget the words that Ness had said to her as she smashed down her own defence; taking hold of her girlfriend’s face and pulling her eyes up to meet her own she repeated the words back to her. “Ness, you can let go, it’s alright, I’ve got you, I’ve got you.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a longer one this time, I am sorry if it is heavy going - I am used to writing light fluff and smut but am trying to develop my writing style in to unknown areas. I promise you better times are ahead for the two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the kudos' and review I had. I hope people are enjoying the story so far, any comments welcome! I do enjoy reading them.

The only godsend in the whole dreadful scenario was Vanessa being the only beneficiary, it at least helped the process move along slightly smoother, no family arguments about who got what or how much. It was at this time Vanessa was grateful she didn't have a family as large as Charity's. That would take years to sort. The solicitor, Jennifer, whom they’d both met all those months ago appeared to the only execuater on the will and had made a few errors handling the case on the way. Vanessa had become too tired, too drained to deal with the woman when it all went pear shaped, normally it her who medled and tried to put things right but this time it was Charity's turn. Charity had seen it happen all too frequently in the last few weeks, a phone call here and there advising that more paperwork had to be filled out and it would take yet more time. She had been tempted to take the phone off Ness on several occasions and give the idiot a gobful of abuse, instead she held her tongue; nothing good would come of it and all she would do would hurt Ness. With Vanessa’s permission, she agreed that she would help make a few phone calls on her behalf to try and sort out the various issues they were encountering and see at what point within probate they actually were. She made sure Vanessa was nowhere near her when she phoned Macallan solicitors, it seemed poor Jennifer Allan had not quite realised the full extent of Charity’s force when she was truly pissed off. Charity had managed to keep a lid on her antics since the last spectacular blow up in the pub after the Megan-Frank ordeal after the shame and embarrassment she had felt when Ness had confronted her.

On one heavy frost ridden day in the beginning of December she found herself marching down Harrogate high street, dressed in the best cut suit she owned ready to send some heads rolling for all the fuckery that had happened over the past few months.She found herself being fobbed off at every given opportunity whilst her girlfriend had practically admitted defeat, she hated seeing Ness so low. Charity really did try playing nice at first to the woman on the front desk who had clearly had so much filler in her face it gave an unreadable expression but when she began to ask about an appointment that’s when Charity’s true nature began to fly. She advised the lady that she wanted to speak to Jennifer Allan and she wanted it now, when advised she was unavailable Charity merely scoffed and proceeded to inspect her nails and told her she wanted a more senior member of staff, the person overseeing Miss Allan’s cases, as she wasn’t capable of doing her job as in Charity’s words; ‘is half brained twit who couldn’t locate her own arsehole to wipe.’ 

The long and the short of the visit did result in Charity getting the meeting but she still insisted on kicking up holy hell; they had messed her about and fobbed her off for too long. Not only did the solicitors threaten to have the police come and arrest her for her abusive behaviour towards staff, (Charity did have a laugh at their expense for this one and instantaneously told them that that would be stay number 34,) tell her yes, there had been mistakes but these were in hand but eventually (and after she had calmed down) that a more senior solicitor was going to take on the case but as Jennifer was the executor she would have to still fulfil certain duties. Charity never told Vanessa where she went or what she did that day, but she did at least leave with a smug grin on her face knowing that she had scared the living daylights out of the company. It gave her the same euphoric high as any of her schemes, that was perhaps the most surprising notion of the day.

It transpired that Vanessa’s mum had been rather savvy in her twilight years and had collected all of her eggs and had her fingers in multiple pies. It was the latter part of January when Ness received the phone call and asked for a meeting to finally settle her mother’s estate. Charity was with Vanessa when she took the call, she could see how the reality of the situation sinking in and that it had finally come to an end, another chapter closed on her life. When her girlfriend finally put the phone down, she lowered herself onto the sofa gently, she was visibly shaken and all Charity could do was envelope Ness into an embrace, something she had learnt with time that an upset Vanessa benefited from. As Ness cried she asked Charity to go with her, she didn’t want to take Tracey or her father, she wanted her partner who had been there for the duration, the person who held her when she was upset or offered her kind words when she was at her lowest. Charity had simply nodded before feeling her girlfriend lean her head in to her shoulder, Charity wasted no time in placing a soft kiss to her forehead, allowing all the emotion that had been so pent up over the last few months to seeped out. She wanted to try and lift the mood by making a quirk about her old money grabbing ways but felt it pointless, she was a different person then to whom she was now and it was the last thing Vanessa needed right now.

After a lengthy meeting with the solicitors, with the bonds, shares, stocks and the sale of the house, (minus the inheritance tax and the halved solicitors fees - no thanks to Charity) Ness was set to receive something just shy of £480,000. Charity swallowed hard as she heard, despite what she had heard from Vanessa about her distant relationship with her mother it was obvious she still cared about her up until the day she died. She felt a small hand lay over the top of hers that interlocked fingers before giving a tight squeeze, Charity looked across, noticing that a stray tear fell from her girlfriend’s eyes. She moved their joined hands and placed it on Ness’ thigh, trying to give a comforting squeeze, it appeared she had just drawn a blank. Vanessa tried to reason out loud where in the hell her mother would have had the brains to work the markets like she did and create all this extra cash. Vanessa turned to gawp at Charity as the amount of money slowly registered in her mind, leaning forward she offered her girlfriend some kind words. “She must have had them all along babe, she had you after all.”

\--

Vanessa and Charity wisley agreed that they were going to keep their trap shut about the amount of money she had inherited, Ness didn’t want people coming up to her for a tap or try and be friendly just for the sake of a few quid. What she did treat herself to was a new car, or newish, despite the sudden windfall she declared she hadn't had a brain injury and ‘didn’t you know how much a car’s value deprecated in the first few years.’ Charity had merely been amused by the whole show, she had tagged along and tried to persuade Ness that a sporty little number would be perfect. Vanessa had merely cocked an eyebrow and asked if Charity would be pushing her out of the mud when the car was stuck on a wet and rutted farm track or had any sensible suggestions as to where the kids booster seats where going to go. Her contributions thereafter that dwindled somewhat and merely declared ‘no white or red please.’ They ended up with a Land Rover discovery, something which they actually agreed on, the boys were growing bigger and needing more room and it was still versatile enough that the vert could get about in the bad weather. The poor gentleman who sold it to them was so done in by the end of the sale he knocked four grand off and thanks to Charity’s persistent badgering offered a three year service plan to go with it. She had been rewarded handsomely for her services later on that evening for input and effort. 

\--

February rolled around fast and soon they were facing March. Nothing much had been done in terms of moving between either house, Tug Ghyll was still where it was at and Noah was quite content going out with his mates on the weekend and (probably, Charity had had her thoughts) getting pie eyed and trying to cop off with the few local girls that they had access to. He mostly stayed at the pub, occasionally choosing to spend the odd night at Tug Ghyll when he felt like it, mostly when some form of take away was involved and her was too full to go back to the pub. His relationship with Vanessa had improved for the large part, he would talk to her, no longer disregarding the fact she was his mother’s latest fling. She had stuck around for the nitty gritty and for the large part (but would never admit out loud) that he actually like Ness and respected her for putting up with all his Mum’s crap. In moments alone he reflected on the relationships with potential step fathers that he could remember, they all treated him well, spoiling him in the beginning to gain his trust before slowly letting him slip out of the picture. Vanessa had not done any of that, all she had done was treated him like anyone else, she had been there for him when he had gotten drunk for the first time, she had been there for his school meetings when his Mum couldn't make it and most of all she had never said anything about the day when Sarah died. For nearly sixteen he was remarkably astute, he knew this was to do with all the crap that had been thrown at him during his upbringing. He had given up on trying to dupe people out of money after Joe had caught him red handed doing it to Samson, threatening to ring Charity if he did it again, instead Joe offered him a job in his company, one day a weekend to understand the basis of any good business. It was basically well paid filing, but Noah at least began to understand how his big brother became so wealthy. 

\--

In retrospect 18 months wasn’t a long time to pass a child’s death but it had really taken its toll on Chas and Paddy; they still didn’t want to be part of the local community, not like they used to anyway. Charity noticed a sadness in their eyes and that their smiles never seemed to quite reach them. At any social or family event they would turn up for the minimal amount of time or involvement before making their excuses and vanishing back to the pub. Charity barely saw the pair of them despite living in such close confines. It finally came to a head when Charity and Chas had had a monumental blowout on a Friday and the surprising half of the two had stormed out and not been seen since. Charity had concluded that she probably hadn’t broached the subject in the best manner but she was fed of of trying to run the pub single handedly and needed Chas to start helping a little bit more, even if was just seeing to paperwork or doing the orders. Chas had promptly reminded Charity of all the times she had ‘fucked off’ for some ‘shit excuse’ or to ‘cop off with the latest lover’ and yet she had still managed to keep the pub running ‘single handley.’ Unfortunately Charity was to riled to stop and think about what she was saying and promptly tod Chas she had not had a day off in three weeks and was ready to stick a note on the door telling the punters it was closed. Instead of responding, Chas turned her back and the living room door was slammed shut, Charity swallowed as she heard the rustle of a coat and the jingle of keys as Chas left the building. It was the Wednesday before she appeared at the pub, Charity had nearly jumped out of her skin as she entered the living space and found Chas waiting for her; rather than jumping down each other’s throats (and this was a trick she had learnt from Ness and found to be quite effective during arguments) she apologised for having a go. Chas had simply shook her head and told Charity there was no need, she understood why she felt the way she did and she hadn’t been pulling her weight. Charity offered a brew as she wandered over to fill the kettle, she had been met with the reply, ‘Ta, when you’re done, come and sit with me and we’ll have a proper chat.’

\--

Rhona and Vanessa had a strangely free block whereby no animal or call out had been booked in, Ness was convinced Pearl had cocked up again but this time it was Paddy who walked in through the door carrying a tray of tea followed by a packet of jaffa cakes. Rhona made a remark about what he had done wrong and what he had to apologise for if he felt that jaffa cakes were needed, both women looked equally concerned when Paddy didn’t laugh off the joke and instead asked them to sit down with him.

It transpired that after Charity and Chas’ blowout they had decided on an impromptu getaway, nothing fancy, just a quiet weekend in Scotland were they could just be with each other. Paddy went on to explain that they didn’t feel that they wanted to be in Emmerdale any longer, the death of Margarita had caused their hearts to break and their relationship to nearly fracture; they wanted out, a fresh start. New people, new faces, nobody who knew their business, asking questions, trying to pry about what they had gone through. Vanessa watched Rhona swallow hard, she had no stake in the surgery after her and Paddy split it was agreed she would have the house in lieu of her share of the business. All Rhona was thinking that she should have tied this up with a solicitor, she was now facing the prospect of losing her job and the business she had set up with Paddy.

Vanessa didn’t choose to say an awful lot at that moment in time, she could feel Rhona’s cogs turning as well as he own, unlike Rhona she still had a say in what happened at the practise and would still be entitled to the same profits. That was unless some idiot brought it out and ran the business into the ground, she mused that that could be done for tax purposes, houses around here were hard to comeby and the property market had been rising. She closed her eyes and shook her head slightly, her mind running away from her, instead she took another jaffa cake and chewed on her thoughts.

\--  
It had transpired that Chas and Paddy had chosen to have the same conversation to their respective colleagues on that same afternoon, they had figured that their chances of it exploding in their faces would be lowered ever so slightly. That was half the trouble in Emmerdale, when things went to pot or their was juicy gossip about the whole village would become involved and have their opinions. In a way both businesses were interlinked, you had Ness and Rhona, best friends for years, Charity and Ness as partners, Rhona and Paddy as former husband and wife. It had the potential to become complicated and difficult within the blink of an eye.

\--

Charity had taken the whole ordeal quite well, or so Chas thought. She had told her cousin this was the only way out for her, she didn’t want to have to put on the facade she had been parading around for the last year or so. Instead of the shouting and arguing she expected, Charity had merely nodded and told her she understood, she surprised Chas even further by pulling her into a hug. Charity had quietly asked Chas if she could put her mask on for the afternoon so she could sit down and try sort through her thoughts and make a start on what to do. Chas would have normally told Charity to sod off, it would normally be an excuse to slope off with Vanessa but the sincerity on her face told her different. She had merely nodded and told her to take the rest of the day off, they could talk about it in a few days.

Vanessa had chosen leave the surgery early, Paddy had offered to deal with any emergencies that came in so she and Rhona could have a chance to reflect on his announcement. Walking the short distance back to Tug Ghyll she noticed that the porch and living room light was on, she hoped that Charity wasn’t angling for a bunk up, she couldn’t feel any less sexual right now if she tried. Opening the door she called out, when no response came she dumped her bag and coat before slipping out of her boots, she cautiously looked around only to find her girlfriend sat on the settee, staring straight ahead. The sight alone worried Vanessa, it was like Bails all over again, she hoped to God that she wasn’t going to refuse to open up and explode like she did the last time. Instead, Ness went over to the kettle and clicked over the switch, occupying herself for a few minutes before setting a mug of tea in front of her girlfriend and settling down in to the other side of the settee. “Do you want to tell me about it?”

\--

Three weeks went by and most of Charity’s focus went towards finding a solution to keep the business she had fought for. She spent every free minute pouring over paperwork or on the phone trying to find a way to keep the life so was happy with. She finally had something that belonged to her and now it felt like walking on a tightrope that she could slip off at any moment.

It was a late thursday evening when Vanessa walked over to the back of the Charity’s chair and handed her a mug of tea as she had sprawled the entire pub’s paperwork across the kitchen table. A thanks was muttered as she peered over her shoulder, hand running down the lock blonde locks that belonged to her girlfriend. “Ness as much as I love you I am going to kill you if you continue to stand over me. I am trying to figure out what to do.” Vanessa smiled at Charity before taking a seat. “Sorry babe, I don’t mean to be a bitch, I’m actually trying to do this legally for once in my life and to be honest it’s giving me a headache. It's so much easier robbing a bank or stealing jewellery, that I get, this… Not even close.”

“Well, stealing or robbing will most likely shove you in jail again, perhaps not? How far have you got?” Vanessa stood up and retrieved the pad that had Charity's messy scrawl on it, she squinted at the roughness of the penmanship on the page before taking it back with her to the settee. 

“The pub has been valued at £695, it’s a 50/50 split and Chas had said she is willing to go for £600 if I can raise the funds.” She dropped the pen and looked over the figures again. “Chas has had the pub ten years more than me, technically she’s not entitled to more equity but she’s my cousin, I don't want her to think I'm trying to do her over. Chas has just said 50/50 to me, take her half of the equality and then the pub is mine. Ness, I can’t get a mortgage that big! The pub has gone up in value since I invested, especially sinde Joe friggin’ Tate has started his little building plot of the new homes at home farm. The mortgage is still the best part of £250,000, Chas is entitled to £225,000, it pushes the mortgage up to £475,000 there’s no way I can get that on my own! Oh god Ness, this is a mess. I’m gonna have to look for a leasehold at this rate, find a brewery that wants to invest.” For the first time she looked over at her girlfriend who was sat with her body turned to face Charity, legs sprawled out and a soft smile on her face. “What?”

“You spend nearly all your life bashing your self esteem and yet I’m sat here watching a incredibly smart business woman trawl over figures, trying to find a solution to a problem.” Charity said nothing, she merely offered a small grin in return. Ness dropped her feet to the floor as she threw the writing pad on the coffee table. “Come here.”

“No babe, I need to figure this out.”

“Charity, it’s 11pm, nothing is going to be solved, you’ve poured over that paperwork for hours, poor Johnny and Moses had to eat their tea on the floor in front on the television. Come and sit with me and have five minutes to unwind.” Charity huffed before picking her mug up and settling herself in to the side of Vanessa who laid a kiss her on her temple. “Something will come right, it’s going to take a bit of figuring out that’s all.”

“That’s all well and good but I’ve got the kids to think about, it’s my home babe, it’s not just my business, it’s my life. Years ago, Noah was so upset when he heard me talking with Ross about moving, he doesn’t want any more upheaval in his life. Moses has been between everyone for crying out loud and for once I am trying to do the right thing here and it’s still going to shit! I feel like that I’m still being punished for all the bad things I’ve done, probably well deserved too.”

Ness pushed Charity away from her, much to her shock, she looked a little hurt if truth be told. “Charity.” She saw her girlfriend’s eyes roll at the tone, she might has well been a teacher. “That woman I saw sitting at my table, trying to make her business work, is the woman I was smiling at. She is the woman I choose to be with with because she is wonderful, amazing, bright, clever. I will not listen to you wallow in self pity, you’re in a good place, right now you need to get a grip.”

“I’m not sure if your pep talks are getting better or worse.” Charity rose from the settee and headed back towards the kitchen. 

“And if you even think about touching a drop of drink I’ll be sending you back to the pub faster than you’d ever know.” Ness watched a hand still on a bottle, she stood up and stepped closer. “Whatever happens you’ll always have a home with me.” She reached forward and took hold of her girlfriend’s hand. “It’s about time we had a conversation about actually living together. You live here most of the time, it’s only Noah who stays at the pub. I’m not saying right away, we have so much stuff we need to deal with, both our businesses could be going down the pan at this rate.”

“Babe it’s not that.” She paused and looked at Vanessa, in all her thoughts she hadn’t stopped to think of the implications of Paddy leaving. “Oh babe, I am so sorry, I never stop to think about you.”

“Two years ago you would have never admitted that out loud.” Vanessa perched on the settee arm as Charity stepped closer again. “I didn’t tell you because I thought you might actually explode. The difference is I have Rhona to potentially fall back on and I already own part of the practise, it’s also nowhere near the amount you are looking for.”

“I’m sorry babe. I’ve been so wrapped up in my own problems I never stopped to think of your business.” Charity hung her head, ashamed that she had selfishly wallowed in her own pity and not given a second thought to her girlfriend. She felt a small prick in the corner of each eye, reaching up she quickly wiped them away. “Babe, I’m so sorry, I have been so self absorbed.”

“It’s alright.” Vanessa gave her girlfriend a smile, Charity peered down to take a look and saw it was genuine smile, it was the same one Ness had gave her after she pushed her to the floor and managed to laugh the injury off. She closed her eyes as a fresh bout of shame washed over her. She had the most wonderful, beautiful woman staring up at her like she was some sort of adonis.

“It’s not Ness, even after all this time, I still think of myself first.”

“It’s human nature, you once told me you were a survivor, survivors are always going to put themselves first. I love you so much more than you will ever know and I don’t want you to change. I fell in love with that selfish, stubborn, moody cow, it's not gonna change now.”

Charity lifted her eyes to look at her girlfriend, the most wonderful person she had met was stood there telling her how much she loved her for being her. She was never one for words, her emotions usually got the better of her and she would fly out in a rage, she was stuck what to do, whether to pulled Ness in for a tight hug or drop a soft kiss on her lips. Instead she chose to raise a hand to Vanessa’s cheek, cradling her cheek softly. “Not the best start to the year eh?”

“And who thought it couldn’t get worse after last year?” Vanessa pulled a face. “Come on, let’s leave this and go to bed.” She grasped Charity’s hand and stood up. “The kids can get something at the cafe on their way to school.” Vanessa went to move and was halted by Charity. “Come on, you know you’ll be like the walking dead tomorrow.” A soft smile appeared on Charity’s face, Ness furrowed her brows. “What?”

“Nothing.” She shook her head softly before following.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A solution to Charity's dilemma, cue Vanessa and that yellow cape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Evening All, 
> 
> I haven't received much feedback from anyone but I am hoping you are all still enjoying the story, I am still setting up the basics to get to the bulk.
> 
> Finally feel like I have survived this Vanity drought for the last month, thank god for previews!
> 
> Enjoy the bank holiday folks!
> 
> CT

Two weeks went by, Vanessa and Rhona had come to an agreement regarding the vets, Vanessa was going to hold the majority stake at 80% and the remaining to Rhona, they also decided they would be needing to employ another full time vet; three of them was a struggle at the best of times. She had to reveal to Rhona and Paddy the extent of her inheritance as pulling the best part of £235,000 out of her pocket wasn’t exactly normal. They had to wait for Rhona’s remortgage on her house for her part of the money to come through, they had discussed options and in the end, wanted to be able to own the business outright. The deal should be sealed at the end of May, Paddy was looking forward to taking the time off with no commitments and enjoying a slower pace of life, though Rhona had teased him if he moved any slower he’d be dead. An advertisement went out for the new position whilst they tried to sort out a worried Pearl, the old bat may be crafty but she did enjoy her job at the surgery no matter what was said. The only issue to rear its head again was the booking system, Vanessa finally put her foot down about having a new system which meant each vet could bring up an app on their phone for full details of each case, she even told Pearl she would pay for her to go on a course, but she couldn’t work like a dinosaur anymore.

\--

Charity on the other hand was still worried about her situation, she had been to the bank and they were prepared to offer her a mortgage of £330,000. She was still short the remaining £145,000 and was now on the lookout for potential investors. The old her would have probably come up with some sordid scheme to obtain the monies and laundered it through the pub, she had said it before, it’s easy enough. The thought had crossed her mind several times, she had shaken it off every time. She wanted to prove to herself that she could do it, she could be the professional woman she wanted to be, she wanted to show everyone who had put her down that she was Charity Dingle and she could do anything. This time wouldn't be a duck and a dive, this time it would be done above board. 

\--

It was a late Tuesday evening, Vanessa had just got back from an emergency call out, something about a horse being upside down in a box, fire engines and all sorts. Charity was only half listening to her as she kissed her goodbye and promised to feed the kids. On Ness’ return she had stripped out of her overalls and thrown them straight in the machine, the horse in a question had done a marvelous job of slicing itself up and most of its blood now was soaked in to her clothing. The animal was lucky that she was only ten minutes away from the incident, much more scrabbling would have resulted in the stupid creature probably killing itself whilst the horrified owner looked on. The horse was now on its way to hospital to be operated on and stitched back up, Ness would be charging a pretty penny for the amount of sedative that had to be used and the amount of time she was stood waiting for the fire brigade to cut the beast out of the box. She mused over the evenings events as she pulled on the dressing gown she kept on the back of the stair door, Vanessa had failed to even notice Charity sat on the sofa. She instantly realised that Charity's head was in her hands and a glass of wine had been left untouched on the coffee table. Vanessa immediately went over, she could tell something was wrong, rather than rush to a full hug of physical affection she touched the back of Charity's blonde tresses, twisting a curl around her index finger before she realised the odd sound that was emanating from her girlfriend, she was sobbing.

“Charity, whatever is wrong?” Ness knew then that her girlfriend was not at any risk of exploding so chose the moment to walk round and pull Charity to her. “Has somebody hurt you?” Charity shook her head, her hair flying everywhere with the vigour. “Then what?”

“I can’t buy the pub, they won’t give me the full mortgage and I can’t find a potential investor who wants to buy a stake rather than leasehold. I don’t want some cooperate pub buying out my pub, selling shit beer and telling me what I have to order and how much I have to pay to them every year.” She sniffed hard, the tears had poured down her cheeks for so long, her eyes were puffy and her makeup had run down the length of her face. “But if I want a job and still try and provide me and the kids a life then it doesn’t look like I’ve got a choice. I have had interest from Heart Brewery, they’ve made me an offer, it’s not really what me and Chas want but she wants out and I still want in. I've run out of options babe, Chas has said their house is going through and she is going to need the money sooner rather than later. ”

“Woah Charity, take a deep breath. That’s a lot of information in one sentence.” She held onto her girlfriend tightly until her breathing returned to normal and her sobs had subsided. “I’m going to make you a brew, grab you a baby wipe to take off the makeup that has migrated down your face then you and I are going to have a conversation. There is no argument in this.”  
A comfortable silence fell between the two as Vanessa took a few minutes to gather her own thoughts before sitting back down with two mugs and a packet of wet wipes for Charity. “Here.”

“Thanks babe.” She began to wipe away the day’s makeup and Vanessa slowly saw the naked Charity, her face lightly dusted in freckles underneath a layer of makeup. She always made a comment every night before they went to bed and every night Charity told her to piss off.

“Charity.”

“Uh oh, Mrs Woodfield is about, run kids. What have I done now?” She tried to lighten the mood with a weak chuckle and it broke Vanessa's heart. Here is Charity, a woman who has fought all her life and finally on the straight and narrow, only to be tucked up by the system. Vanessa had thought long and hard about her next move, she had weighed up the pros and cons of it all, she had poured over the paperwork with Charity and knew exactly what she would be getting herself in to. 

“No!” Vanessa laughed before her more serious face taking over. “But I want you to listen to me, I don’t want to be interrupted and I want you to know that I have given this a hell of a lot of thought before I have have decided to make you this offer.” A nod came from Charity. “I’m going to put the remaining money up for the pub.” She saw that her girlfriend was about to protest and gave her such a look Charity could only purse her lips. “I have watched you torture yourself for weeks, trying to get you the money for the pub, I have watched you try with every bank, try to find an investor and now you’re at the point where you could lose control and end up resenting everything you have worked for. You’re a moody cow and come with a reputation, you’ve ducked, dived, been to prison, been arrested god knows how many times and done some things you had to do that you should have never had to. You know I have the money sat in my account and at no point during this have you even tried to ask me for anything, I’m not just your girlfriend Charity, I’m your partner and partners hold each other up when shit hits the fan and life goes downhill, I told you I was in it for the long haul, and here I am. Bring it on, I want to learn how to pull a pint.”

As Vanessa drew for breath Charity inhaled a shaky one of her own. “Babe, I can’t.” She blew out, she wished at times like these that she still smoked.

“I will be a silent partner in all of this Charity, I want nothing to do with the day to day running of the pub, I want nothing to do with shifts, who you employ, how bills are paid. What I propose to you is we set up a joint business account where my money can go to pay my portion of the bills, the rest of it I’ll have to figure out. We could do with a decent accountant, try and legally avoid paying tax.” She emphasised on the legally part. “I’ll be running the vets with Rhona and you’ll be running here.”

“Ness, I don’t know what to say.” Fresh tears sprung in to Charity’s eyes as she dabbed at them. “The offer, it’s too much, no one would ever trust me with that amount of money.” She stood up, looking to make a swift exit, her emotions threatening to overwhelm her and the urge to explode brimming at the surface. Suddenly Vanessa's softest voice cut through her, looking up she saw the her girlfriend hadn't moved, her features looking at her in wonder. 

“I trust you, I trust you with anything Charity, I took a chance with you after that night in the cellar, you took me upstairs and showed me a different side to you. A gentle side, everything was done on my terms, no pressure, no expectations and at that point, I trusted you. Charity Dingle, the hardest woman in the village and do you know what, the most important thing I trust you with is? Johnny! He is worth more than any amount of money I could ever have or give you. You treat him like one of your own, he always wants you, he always is asking for you, I haven't told you this before but he's even started calling you ‘other mummy.’ Over the past two years we’ve been through a hell of a lot and guess what, we are still here. I was with you from day one and I’ll be with you until my last.” Vanessa took in a deep breath, her heart hammering her chest and tears threatening to spill, she had just laid out her entire life to Charity and offered it on a plate. 

A silence passed before Charity said anything. “That's one hell of a speech babe.” There was no jest in her voice, she moved closer and sat in the multicoloured chair that adorned the living room. “Johnny calls me mummy?”

“Other mummy to be more precise. I've spoken to him about it, it's difficult explaining to a five year old why calling you that may not be a good idea. He tells all of his friends, he even tells them how you let him sit at the bar and eat crisps and drink coke.” Ness looked at Charity. “With everything that has been going on I didn't want to speak to you about it. It was the last thing you needed.”

“Babe, out of everything and the shit I'm dealing with that would have probably been the best thing to tell me. Let's face it, my parenting has been questionable to say the very least at times, but that fact Johnny is saying that means I must have done something right.”

“You're all he's ever known, since Adam and Kirin left I haven't had anybody who mattered, he's so young, kids don't question where daddy is at two or three. Granted it may pop up in the future but for now, he's happy, he has someone else who he loves and I know you love him back.”

“It's better than Chatty.” Charity looked at her girlfriend and smiled. “Bloody Chatty!”

“As long as you're ok with it, next time he says something I’ll have a chat with him, but we do actually need to talk about my offer. I know you think it's a lot and you'll be getting in deep with me but I promise you this is what I want.”

Charity nodded. “I know babe, it's just such a big offer, I want to accept it but it just feels like I'm using you.”

“Using me? Charity I'm offering you this money. You haven't stolen my bank cards, you've never once done anything to make me think you are money grabbing. I give you my cards to go shopping, fill the car up, you've have plenty of opportunities to try and you've never once have.”

“Ness, no one has ever trusted me, especially when it comes to money.” Charity's eyes were dark, intense, her usual flirty bravado had disappeared, she felt like someone wanted to take care of her and that meant more than she could ever put into words. 

“Come here you daft mare.” Ness held out her hand which Charity took willingly, allowing herself to be pulled close, she reached up and stroked the side of Ness’ cheek.

“You really don’t know how much I love you Ness, I know I don’t say it as often as I should. I don’t know how you and I ended up together but I thank my lucky stars every night, I really meant it when I said you make me a better person.” She leant forward and cocked her head sideways so she had full access to the soft lips she had come to know. Since being with Vanessa, Charity tried getting in tune with her feelings more but still found it difficult, she had always used sex as a weapon but this time round she used it as a way is conveying her gratitude, she had said as much as she could before the dam burst again.

Charity felt Vanessa pull away from her, she still held on to the curls that fell everywhere whilst offering her girlfriend a shit eating grin and a cocked eyebrow. “There is one condition on me becoming an investor in your business.” 

Charity rolled her eyes, she knew whatever was coming was something ridiculous and she would be the one paying for it. “And what’s that?”

“We officially move in together, me, you, the boys, Noah, whenever he’s actually home anyway.” 

Charity actually looked taken aback, that was not what she was expecting. “In the pub?”

“In the pub. I know we spend most of our time here and the boys have a room but let’s face it, we are on top of each other, the two little ones are not getting quite so little anymore. I’m also fed up of doing most of your washing, do you even know what a bloody washing basket is for, or is it used as goal practise for some netball team you haven’t made it on to yet?” 

“So if we moved in together you would do all my washing?” Charity did her best to look innocent.

“Don’t try and be coy Charity, it doesn’t suit you. You know full well you would have to pitch in, all the bloomin’ lingerie you own is a shit to wash and if I have to get poor Pete round again to unblock my washing machine because one of the bones has popped out, I swear to god.” She shook her head. “Last time it ate a whole bra, and not just a normal everyday one if you get what I mean. That then means I get teased by Rhona for the whole day.”

“You finished your moan yet?”

“No, there’s another condition.”

“Do you want me to get a pen and paper? We could make a contract, I know how sweaty paperwork can make you.” Charity couldn’t resist jeering at Ness, it was like poking a badger with a stick.

“In a moment I am going to utilise the fact we still have our own places and send you on your merry way back to the pub. My only other condition is we have the top floor to ourselves, our own bathroom and bedroom, the three boys can have the middle floor. I do not need to also pay for their therapy when they hear you yelling my name. So what do you think, do we have a deal?”

“I particularly like your last proposal but may I suggest a small amendment?” Charity’s hands had began to wander over to Vanessa’s shirt and had popped the majority of the buttons. “How about we soundproof that particular room? Either that or we invest in a really good sound system.” She clicked her teeth as she pulled the tie on the dressing gown before pushing it off in one swift motion. “Now what do you think, do we risk going upstairs or do I show you my gratitude on the rug? How loud are you likely to scream babe?”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter and then the main crux of the story gets underway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am absolutely astounded at the response from my last chapter. Thank you to each and everyone of you who has reviewed or hit that kudos button.
> 
> I have been a bit slow in the updates, just returned from holiday with the missus so have had a good few weeks out of writing... I am on the case. 
> 
> Hopefully you will enjoy this one as much as the last.

It was the beginning of August before the new family unit moved in to the pub officially. It had been announced that Charity was now the sole owner of the pub and despite all the local gossip no one had guessed Vanessa had anything to do with the actual purchase of the pub. Vanessa had kept her word and had had the entire top floor redone, bathroom and all. Normally Charity hated having any control taken from her but in this instance she was happy to, especially after seeing the size of the bathroom the builders had manage to create with some rejigging of the internal walls. Hers and hers sink come vanity units had been installed to prevent any further fights over who dried their hair first or whose make up was whose and to Charity’s biggest delight, a giant jacuzzi bathtub that her and Vanessa could both fit in. It had cost an absolute fortune but it was something they could both enjoy at the end of a hard day. The boys each had their own room, decorated to their instructions. When it came to Noah (who had been give Charity's old room,) he simply requested a new mattress (narrowed eyes gave the game away as to why) and the ‘girly shit’ to be removed. He was just happy he had a double bed at last. 

They had decided on an impromptu family holiday with the two boys, Noah had initially been hesitant but his mind had instantly changed when he was allowed to bring a friend, poor kid was at the awkward age where he couldn’t quite drink but didn’t just want to be stuck with his mum and kid brother. Charity also worried for his own safety if left alone for too long, he would probably be sleep deprived and react to sunlight like a vampire, Vanessa hadn’t put up too much of a fight with regards to the friend as long as him and Noah had their own room, the little ones didn’t always hear the noises between the two lovers and could be fobbed off enough. The last thing Charity and Vanessa needed was a 16 year old friend hearing them going at it, Ness had a horrid image of Kevin and Perry go large in her head that she was unable to shake.

Charity had been desperate to take the boys to Disneyland but this proved far more expensive than either woman anticipated and when advised of America’s strict laws about gaining entry to the country it was decided not to dredge up Charity’s rough past for something so trivial as a visa.Two weeks in Portugal had been agreed, the boys could be left to their own devices at the resort and there was plenty to entertain them in the area whilst Moses and Johnny would be happy wearing themselves out all day in the pool, Charity on the other hand probably wouldn’t move at the fear of getting her hair wet. Noah had also shown Vanessa the video from their last holiday that he promised he had deleted where Charity got suck on the water slide do to not having a bikini that covered enough of her bum. Charity had caught the pair of them tittering together and demanded to see what was so funny, she clumped Noah round the ear and told Vanessa that she wouldn’t sit down for a week if Noah had given her a copy. Noah’s already red ears burnt a deeper shade of crimson as he muttered about inappropriate parenting and his need for therapy.

It was obviously Charity who set the security alarm off in the airport much to Ness’ and Noah amusement as she was stripped of her shoes and patted down by a female officer. Charity had loudly stated that this was the most action she had seen in a while and ‘perhaps you could take note Vanessa.’ Noah had already tried walking off with his friend Jason at his mother’s sheer embarrassing nature before being asked if they wanted breakfast, apparently teenage boys were far easier to manipulate than first thought. After a filling breakfast (and costly too, ‘bloody airport charges’ Charity had moaned as she coughed up the bill) they went to find their gate, with the two smaller boys it would take longer to get there. Moses was certainly a lump and whilst they could still both lift him, carrying him any distance would prove strenuous. Charity had left Noah and Jason in a shop, stocking up on sweets, fizzy drinks and god knows whatever else they could purchase, she had also warned that if they didn't get on the flight due to their own stupidity they would have to find their own way home.

It was gone 6pm before they got to the resort, both kids were getting grizzly from hunger and travelling for most of the day, the only saving grace was they saved their meltdowns until the actual resort. It was agreed that they would meet at dinner for 7pm with the two older boys so they could get Johnny and Moses down for the night by 8.30pm to prevent any overtired and sleep deprived children. It felt like an eternity, dinner was a struggle and as soon as they put the boys down they crashed clean out, the two women also laid on their bed, knackered from the days travels. Vanessa turned to Charity and raised her eyebrows, the dress she was wearing had fallen away from her breasts and she had noticed her girlfriend’s gaze across her body.

“Crossword and then bed?”

“Sounds perfect babe.”

\--

“You know, for a woman knocking on 44 you don’t look half bad in that.” Ness stated as she put an overly large hat on her head. “Just make sure it doesn’t get stuck up your arse on the way down the slide.”

“Fuck off.” Charity mouthed in response, they had already had one incident where Johnny had picked up the word ‘tit’ after Charity had called Vanessa one as she fell over a toy in the living room. Johnny had called every child in school a tit for the rest of the week before Vanessa was called in for a chat, she had never been so embarrassed and advised it wouldn’t happen again. Johnny had been told in a far kinder manner than Charity about the repercussions of the word ‘tit’ and why he shouldn’t use it. Charity had just been called far worse and told that she’ll be attending the boys school next time to explain what other expletive they had learnt.

“I’ll look forward to peeling that off you later to check out your tan, see how it is coming along each day.”

“You don’t look like you’re even attempting to get one Miss Woodfield. Full swimming costume, large hat, factor 50, would you like a sun lounger which a parasol too, you’re practically screaming for your fifties.”

“Look at the colour of me, I don't tan, I burn, I spent every day of my life in overalls, I’m pretty sure I would freeze in Yorkshire if I did my job in a bikini.”

“I dunno, I’m sure you could charge premium rates to farmers if you did, bent over in that, you know what exposure to the cold does to you, they would certainly get an eyeful.” Charity stepped closer as she applied her suntan oil (apparently it did contain factor 15 at least.) “I know it’s turning me on at the thought of it.” She lifted the brim of Vanessa’s hat and kissed her, not the usual peck, a real long, slow kiss that nearly always made her girlfriend go weak at the knees and wet between the legs. Sadly, having small people with you often meant that you were interrupted at the most inappropriate moments.

“Mummy!” Moses screamed as he ran straight in to her leg, the moment being broken in a flash. “Johnny hit me with Dino!”

“Happy holiday!” Vanessa gave a sarcastic smile before going to scold her child.

\--

“The boys seem to be enjoying the last few days.” Charity sat between Vanessa’s legs and tried to lean back, only to to be poked in the back by Ness’ iPad. “Ouch. Jesus Ness, I only wanted a cuddle.”

Vanessa sat up, moving her legs to the floor and shuffling her legs to move closer to her girlfriend. “Since when did you ever want a cuddle in public, hard girl image finally wearing off?”

“More of an excuse to have a cheeky squeeze.” Charity felt Ness lean her chin on her shoulder and brought the tablet around the front so she could see what Vanessa was up to. “What’s this babe?” She tilted the screen and squinted. “And before you even open your gob, I do not need glasses.”

“You probably do, I saw this, a week in Mauritius in late September, just me and you, 5 star luxury, adults only, junior suite with private pool, I think we deserve it.”

Charity tilted the screen a little more. “Jesus Christ, is that each?” Charity paled. “I would love to Ness but that is way too much, I can’t afford that.”

Vanessa placed a soft kiss on her shoulder. “I’m not asking you to. I just want a week with my girlfriend where we have no responsibilities.”

“Babe, I can’t and won’t let you pay that for me. That’s almost what we paid for the six of us here for two weeks. Besides, who’s going to look after the boys? Ross got himself thrown in prison, I can’t ask Debs, she’s busy with her new job, Chas and Paddy have moved to jockland.”

“Let me spoil you.” Ness’ nose ran up the side of Charity’s neck before gently nipping the soft skin by her earlobe. “I want some time with you, uninterrupted, one too many drinks and out of this world food.”

“I hate feeling like I am sponging off you Ness, you’ve already given me so much, I can’t keep taking from you, it’s not fair.”

“I gave you nothing, I became an investor and shareholder in your business, I may have gone a little overboard on the renovations to the bathroom but I wanted to spoil me, you just happen to use the facilities for a small fee.” She dropped the timber in her voice so only Charity could hear. “And when we use the blue bits and you do that thing with your tongue I literally fall apart, shame it takes so long to get there. I’m getting wet just thinking about it, shame you can't put your fingers there to find out.” She let out a loud sigh. “I’ll sort myself out later in the shower.”

“You are a manipulating....”

“And where do you think I got that from? Thanks for the useful advice.” She kissed her cheek. “I am serious though, I want to have a week with you, besides, Dad and Tracey have already agreed to have the kids between them and Debs has agreed to take Jack to stay at the pub with Noah just in case he tries anything daft.”

“It’s just so much money babe, I’ve never been to anywhere like that.” She flicked through the hotel once more, it looked like something that a celebrity would stay at, not a scruff from Yorkshire. “I don’t think I’ll fit in.”

“I believe you gave a speech once to my sister about being an incredibly kind, beautiful young woman and her husband didn’t know how lucky he was. Well I know how lucky I am and I’d be the proudest person alive to have to you with me.”

Charity felt light kisses pepper her browned skin. “It sounds too good to be true.”

“I know we don’t talk about money a lot Charity, but rest assured this money is money I had already saved for a holiday with you, it’s nothing to do with my inheritance, I’ve just had my first salary since being the majority stakeholder at the vets and I nearly fell over with shock. Let me put it this way, that holiday comes from one month’s pay with some left over. So there’s two options, I take you and we have a couples holiday or I take my sister and we just get drunk all day long.”

“Are you sure?”

“I swear to god if you question me once more I will chuck you over my knee.”

“Not like we haven’t tried that before. You and your tiny hands.” Charity let out a loud laugh at the memory. “You missed every time.” She continued to stare at the hotel and read the details of what would be included and the possible trips around the island.

Vanessa meanwhile had flushed bright read at the memory, she had wanted to kill Charty at that point and instead made a quick judgement call and pulled both bows in her bikini top before pulling the whole thing away from her girlfriend's chest. “Vanessa!” Charity screamed, dropping the iPad, desperately trying to cover her chest but all she really achieved was drawing more attention to herself.

\--

The last week in September rolled round and Vanessa and Charity found themselves sat on a beach, sipping cocktails whilst being waited on hand and foot. The hotel was quiet, barely half full as they approached the last few hours of precious sun. 

“Mmm.” Charity moaned as she pulled the dregs of her drink through the straw that was clasped between her teeth. “You’ve gotta learn how to make these at home Ness.”

“Me?” She choked as she placed her drink on the table. “You’re the one who owns the pub, I would have thought this would be your area of expertise.”

“Babe, you know exactly where my area of expertise lies.” Charity placed a hand of Vanessa’s thigh, her fingertips lightly stroking the softer skin that lay on the inside.

“Nearly 3 years and your mind is still in the gutter.”

“We are not arguing about our anniversary again. Every year you count our first kiss, I actually count when I asked you to be my girlfriend.”

“Multiple anniversaries, surely I should have a gift on every one.” Vanessa flashed a smile and shrugged. “Always left disappointed.” She nudged her girlfriend.

“Babe every day you have with me is a gift.”

“Arrogant arse...I think I've had one too many drinks.” She rolled her eyes, desperately trying to maintain her focus as she shifted her body on the lounger, fixating her gaze on the sea. “Maybe one day we’ll actually have just one anniversary.” The words were out Ness’s mouth before she could stop herself, glancing out the corner of her eye she had seen Charity freeze. “Shit.” She mentally scolded herself, that was not a conversation she wanted to have right now. Vanessa loved Charity more than she could ever imagine and if she was truly honest would marry her in a heartbeat.” She cursed under her breath. “Charity...”

Charity turned to look at her girlfriend, the drink effecting her natural defences, she lifted Vanessa’s hat which she had subtly altered to cover her face. “One day we will.” She placed a soft kiss on Ness’ cheek. “You know I love you, I promise one day we will.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanessa gets a visit from Kirin. Noah has his 18th - sparks fly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the likes/comments/kudos. I am a bit slow with writing at the moment as struggling to find the time... I'll get there, I am currently working on chapter 8!

“Happy birthday Noah!” The entire crowd cheered as he pulled a pint for himself and took his first large (legal) gulp. 

“18, who’d thought it.” Chas leant against her cousin and she watched Noah disappear off to a dark corner with his friends. “Well done love for not killing him.”

Charity threw Chas a dark look as she took a large gulp of her wine. “Three down, one to go.” Charity looked at her son and smiled, he was turning in to a handsome young man and if she really admitted it, he did look like Chris, she switched her focus between Noah and Joe, the Tate gene ran through the two boys strongly.

“And whilst we are at it, when are you going to make an honest woman of your girlfriend? It's been what, five years? Doesn't girlfriend at your age just sound a bit seedy? ”

Charity rolled her eyes. “Shut up Chas.”

“I’m just winding you up love.” She moved around the bar and picked up another bottle of wine. “They say the fourth time's the charm.”

“You'll know you have to pay for that.”

“Oh c’mon! You said it was a free bar. Don't go back on your word now.”

“It was, but not for you.”

Chas grinned at her cousin as she poured another large helping in to her glass. She watched everyone who had flocked to the pub to celebrate Noah’s 18th birthday, she did miss this. It was nice to see the regulars who could fill her day with idle chit chat, it was the one part of her life in Emmerdale that she truly missed. She was still a landlady but just in a difference sense, instead of punters she had tenants and when she didn't have tenants she had renovations to fill her day. There was something satisfying about getting her hands on a sledgehammer and pounding her hatred of the world out. 

\--

“Charity.” Vanessa closed in, trying to be discreet between everyone. “Don't you think it might be a good idea to give him his present now, much later and he will probably try and kill himself.”

Charity looked up and found Noah chugging back the remnants of a pint. “Good call babe. Ring the bell at get everyone's attention.”

Ness did as she was told and the pub fell silent as everyone's gaze rested on her. “Charity!” She hissed as the usual gobby barmaid suddenly found herself lost for words. “Oh for God sakes you are a useless landlord.” Ness earned a roar of laughter from the pub and a few comments were heard, ‘not much change there’ seemed to be the consensus. She knew it was all in jest, since Chas had left and Charity had no choice but to step up she had thrown her heart and soul into the pub, Friday, Saturday and Sunday were normally rammed and there was always some event on midweek to keep the punters flocking in. Ness particularly enjoyed the quiz every Sunday night, she would watch her girlfriend always devise the last round and putting her under used brain to good use whilst making it a good laugh for the locals. 

In the past few years Charity finally knew how it felt not to worry about money and be proud how hard she had actually worked to get to this point. Vanessa never particularly asked about the money side of the pub, she had her cut every month which was mostly left in the joint account for them to enjoy when it had been a crap week or they felt like spoiling the kids. The last time they decided to go on a bender they decided to go to London for two nights and enjoy a midweek break where all they did was eat, drink and sight see whilst Charity used every opportunity to touch Vanessa up. 

“Come on Charity, get on with it.” Cain yelled from the back of the pub. “Noah’s already turned 19!”

“Must explain why you've gone totally grey!” Her acid tipped tongue was always ready for a dig, especially when it came to Cain. “Better put that free bus pass to use soon.”

Cain held his hand up in defeat and smiled good naturedly. They still argued about Debbie, particularly when she decided that she would actually marry Joe. For once in Charity's life she couldn't even give a toss about how rich her daughter would be, she still disliked Joe for what he did to her, to what her did to her family, home farm, but for Debbie and Noah’s sake she tolerated the jumped up shit. Cain had received strict instructions for the stag do and Joe had been left slightly battered and bruised whilst maintaining the traditional Dingle welcome of being tied to a gate, naked, covered in treacle for the sheep to lick off. 

“OK, unaccustomed as I am to public speaking, I will make a speech for you Noah. I did have some pictures that I dug out to show everyone however I did think better of it. Come here babe.” She held her hand for Noah to come and join her, he dumped his empty glass on the side before pushing his way through before grasping his mother's hand. “So instead I thought I would highlight some of your most embarrassing moments, it seems only fair considering you showed just about everyone here the video of me getting wedged on the slide.”

“That's on YouTube anyway.” Jimmy piped up from the corner. 

Charity whipped round. “It's where? I'm gonna bloody kill you kid! It's a good job it's your birthday otherwise I'd be burying you six feet under.” Another chuckle rang round the pub until Chas chimed in. 

“Actually that was me, serves you right for recycling my Christmas gifts for the past few yours. It's only thanks to Vanessa that I didn't upload the other videos I have of you.”

“Oh shut up the pair of you, this is Noah’s birthday.” Ness butted in having enough of the antics. “You know how your Mum and I have been struggling to know what to buy you for your birthday, mostly because you have been such a pain in the arse for the last few months, well, Charity! For god sakes, dry your face, you need to do this awsell.” Jeers rang from around the pub as Charity, the hardest cow around was crying as her baby was now turning 18. 

“Shut up you lot or I'll close the bar and start charging for drinks!” She was jeered once more. “Babe, me and Ness wish you happy birthday, you have grown up to be a smart, handsome young man, it was long ago that you were shitting in nappies and dribbling down your front as you were trying to say your first word. Well, I suppose I've taught you to the best of my abilities and congratulations on being able to talk, although the rate you are knocking back those pints I don't think it will be that long before you'll be doing both those things again. A loud cheer from the crowd rang around. “And if I'm honest with the you, I wish I had given your present earlier but you have already gone past the limit so.. Happy birthday babe.” She handed him a small box, opening it he found a set of keys inside. 

“Are you kidding me?” He held up the set, the BMW sign clear as daylight. “You've actually brought me a BMW? He dropped the box and held the keys for a moments more fascination before launching himself at his mother, the height and weight difference had become rather evident as he had hit puberty and training with the local rugby team. “Oh my god!” Charity grasped on to her son and smiled as he wrapped his arms even tighter around her. “Thank you.” He planted a kiss on the side of her face before looking at Vanessa. Even after all this time, through all of the shit they had gone through he was skeptical of his mother's relationship with Vanessa. It wasn't because he didn't trust Ness, he did, in fact she was the first person he called when he got in to a punch up and needed picking up in the middle of the night. He had been jilted so many times by previous stepfathers that he felt the inevitable would happen but here she stood, grinning like a fool and looking at him with so much love. He wrapped his arms around Vanessa, squeezing her hard. “Thank you Ness.” He lowered his voice so that only she would be able to hear. “By the way, I know you have a ring for mum. Go for it.” He drew back to observe his mother's partner who clearly looked panicked who else could possibly know. He shot her a wink that was the spit of his mother's before planting another solid kiss. “Where is it?”

“Outside, I got Cain to give it the once over, it’s not brand new but you have proved that you aren't going to kill yourself over the past year so..” Charity shrugged. “Ness and I thought you deserved something special for your 18th.”

He dashed outside to find the black one series waiting for him, opening all the doors and grinning like a madman. Charity and Vanessa stood back and admired him from a distance. “He gets more like you every day.” Ness whispered as she slipped and arm around her partner. 

\--

“Are you ever popping the question, 5 years V, just saying it’s a long time.” Tracey smirked behind her G and T, it had been the ongoing joke between the families for the last year.

“I wish the lot of you would just bugger off.”

“C’mon V, this is your longest relationship, you live with her and Johnny calls her Mummy, Moses calls you Mummy! What more could you want?” 

“Nothing, I want nothing more. That’s the point Tracey, I know you lot want to see me and Charity in big white gowns announcing our love for each other in front of the entire village but right now...” She shrugged. “I’m happy, she still makes me happy, she still makes me laugh and she loves me. What more could I want?”

“A big fat diamond that fits on your left hand?”

“If you weren't Ness’ sister I would be suspicious.” The familiar voice cuts through the sister’s conversation. Charity wrapped and arm around Ness and kissed her square on the lips. “You lot will not leave that question alone. Bloody Chas has had a go ‘nd all.”

“Well it's about time!” Rhona appeared in the doorway and made her way down the steps to talk to her friends. “By the way Charity, Noah and his mates are currently helping themselves to most of the tequila. Might wanna go and stop them before he's carted off in an ambulance. Something called Birthday Shot 18. Not very original but I think Noah was on about number 7.”

“Oh for Christ sakes! And no one thought to stop him?” She plonked her glass on the table and stormed away. “He'll never make it in to Hotten if him and his mates are carrying on the way they are.”

The three remaining women burst out into laughter. “Probably for the best. Last time he got in to this state we had to rip the carpet up.” Rhona and Tracey pulled a face. “I have to give him credit though, kid's like a homing pigeon, he always gets himself back home no matter what state.”

“What's gonna happen when he goes to university?” Tracey asked. 

Rhona and Vanessa exchanged looks. “Well, I would imagine he will probably irreversibly damage his liver in the first week, try some drugs and then do his best to shag his way round Manchester. Sound about right Ness?”

“Sounds good to me.” She laughed hard, too many memories good and bad popped in to her head. “Charity has been wracking her brains what to send him off with, I on the other hand will be the responsible half and send him with aspirin and a giant packet of condoms I ordered off eBay.”

“You didn't?”

Ness pulled out her phone and flicked to a picture, once more all the women howled. 

“Poor Noah, at least you know you did your best if he knocks some girl up.”

“Pity we didn't take the same precautions eh?” A voice came from the darkness, Vanessa squinted in to the nothingness, trying to make out the figure.

“Hello?” She could hear footfalls and the sound of someone breathing in the night air that had become cold. 

“Oh come on Ness, you should know the sound of my voice. We often did enough sneaking around in the dark.” The figure appeared in the light the shrouded the pub and an older but unmistakable man came in to view. “You should know what teenage boys like, after all I was one.” Kirin smirked as he stopped around 5 feet from the women. “I mean, you were doing me at his age.”

Tracey took a step forward, she had seen her sister freeze at the sight Kirin. Vanessa had no idea what to say to the father of her child and the shock of seeing him after all these years had rendered her incapable of speaking. “This is a private party.”

“Doesn't look like it, all of the village are in there.” 

“They're friends. They are welcome. Please just leave, we don't want a fuss.”

“Vanessa, can I talk to you?” Kirin completely disregarded Tracey attempts to remove her sisters ex. 

Ness remained glued to the floor, still unable to move. The anger, the hatred, the hurt that she felt when he left was bubbling up through her body and she didn't know whether to lose it or cry. 

“Ness!” A loud holler that could only come from Charity emanated from the pub entrance as she brought her son out, his feet barely holding him upright, she stumbled down the steps. “Bloody Sam had him do a dirty pint from that fucking welly! He's just thrown up all over the bar.”

Vanessa's attentions were suddenly taken from the man in front of her and replaced with concern as Noah was placed on a bench with his head between his legs. She turned her back on Kirin and walked the few paces over to Noah before placing her hand across his back and rubbing in large circles. 

“Can you keep an eye on him for a second whilst I clear this mess up?”

“Rhona, could you get me a pint of water for Noah please?” She moved her feet just in time as he threw up once more, the liquid hitting the pavement with a loud spatter. Vanessa caught her friend's eye, who asked her silently if she could leave, she continued walking when she saw the smallest of nods. 

“Ness?” Noah spat at the pavement.

“Yeah?” 

“I don't feel very well.”

“I'm not surprised. I don't think you'll be going out to Hotten tonight.” She smiled as Noah shook his head in agreement. “Do you think you can make it upstairs to bed?” He shook his head once more. 

“No.” He began to dry heave before being sick once more. 

“A big rugby lad like you should be able to handle his drink better.” She gave a small laugh as Noah gave her a sly glare, his eyes matching a pissed off Charity's perfectly. 

“Oh I don't know, Vanessa has been in some states. Don't let her fool you for a second Noah.” Rhona appeared holding a pint of cold water. “Sip that slowly, you'll be better throwing that up than nothing at all.” Noah took the glass, albeit clumsily, and rested the cool glass against his forehead. She rounded on Kirin who had been forgotten in the last few minutes. “Kirin, it's probably best if you leave. You can see Ness has her hands full.”

“What does it matter?” He gestured with his hand. “Tracey can sit with the kid and babysit him whilst he nurses his hangover.”

“Kirin, I asked you nicely, please leave.” Rhona flashed her eyes, she wasn't a woman to be trifled with, Kirin may be well over six foot but she was prepared to fight for her best friend. 

Vanessa looked up from Noah, her eyes rounding on the man she once felt so strongly for, loved even. “I'm not interested in what you have to say. Like Rhona said, leave.” He took another couple of steps closer. “Leave.” She found her voice and belted the word at him. 

“Ness? Who is that?” Noah looked up from his position and glared at the bloke stood in front of him. 

“It's no one Noah. Just sip your drink.”

“I wouldn't call the father of your child no one, would you?”

“Kirin?” Noah muttered. 

“Come on Ness, how about you and me go for a drink in town? I need to talk to you.”

Vanessa couldn't keep up with the hot and cold attitude that Kirin was displaying. “I've said no!” She stood up, facing the person who she never wanted to see again. “How many times do you want me to tell you?! I don't want to speak to you, I have absolutely nothing to say to you, you made that choice to leave and tell me you didn't want your own child, you told me that you didn't love him! You didn't even want to write Johnny a letter! You didn't even want me to lie to our child, you told me you hated him! And now you're coming back here demanding to speak to me like no time has gone by, talking about being a father to your child? Well guess what Kirin, I don't want to speak to you! So why don't you leave before I call the police for harassment?” Vanessa drew in heavy breaths as she fought for control over her emotions. She tried not to break but felt her own body betray her as a lone tear slipped down her cheek. 

“I know you care Ness.” Kirin softly spoke. 

Vanessa felt a presence behind her, the looming shadow of another man standing over her. 

“Ness has asked you to leave.” Noah put his arm across the back of his mother's partner. 

“Don't.” She whispered softly. “It's ok Noah.” He looked down at her, any trace of him being as drunk as he looked five minutes ago had gone and now a large man stood next to her. She felt the arm around her shoulders tighten a little. 

“Ness has asked you to leave.”

“What's this? You're latest toyboy?” Kirin gave a smug grin, his initial assessment clearly correct. “At least he's eighteen now, although I'm not sure what Charity would have to say about you shagging her…”

A fist landed Kirin square on the jaw, the blow knocking him sideways, he grasped the side of his face as he stumbled upright. “You little…”

“No, you listen. Ness asked you to leave so unless you want a broken nose to match that cheek I would advise listening to her.” Noah roughly pushed Vanessa away as she scrabbled at him, the last thing she wanted was a fist fight on his birthday. Rhona and Tracey were stood stock still, they had no idea what to do, they could hardly put a stop to a fight if the worst ensued. 

Unfortunately for Kirin, he may be an adult but he still thought like an arrogant teenager. “I'll give it to you kid, you can pack a punch, now why don't you go and find mummy so the grown ups can have a chat.”

Rhona closed her eyes and quietly removed herself from the situation, she went to find Pete, terrified of what might happen next. 

“Why have you bothered coming here? You clearly don't love Johnny or you wouldn't have left in the first place.”

“Fine one to talk, didn't your mum leave you?” Kirin didn't know what hit him as Noah took another well aimed punch at Kirin’s nose, the sickening crunch was heard around and blood spurted out across the tarmac. 

“V, don't!” Tracey yelled as she watched Vanessa try and pull Noah off Kirin before he actually did some real damage. As she grappled with the right of Noah’s arm, she slipped and another crunch was heard as she flew backwards. As much as Noah was trying to be her Knight in shining armour he was still under the influence and he had failed to realise who it was he had hurt. 

“Ah fuck!” Ness pinched her nose as she tried to stem the blood that was pouring out. “Noah! Stop!” She spat out, the blood mixed with spittle that was running down the back of her throat. 

“That's enough!” Cain called out, followed by Pete, a worried looking Charity and half the pub. 

The two men pulled apart the brawling mess on the floor, Cain had a tight grip on Noah whilst Pete held Kirin in an arm lock. “You alright kid?” Noah was heaving hard, the adrenaline coursing through his body as he fought against Cain’s grip. “What the hell is that piece of shit doing back in the village? Vanessa, are you OK?” Cain did his best to crane his neck around. “Tracey go in and get her a tea towel, she looks like she's busted her nose.”

“Babe, what the hell?” Charity had moved herself from the steps to take in the sight of her girlfriend. “What the hell are you doing back here? Did he do that to you?” She glared at Kirin who was still fighting against Pete. 

“That was your son.” Kirin grinned as he spat out another mouthful of blood, this time he felt a tooth dislodge along with it. “Protecting his girlfriend's honour.” He looked so pleased with himself as a confused look slipped across Charity's features. She clearly didn't know. 

“Girlfriend? What?” Charity whipped her head round. “I swear to god! Noah!” She bellowed across to him. 

“He was being horrible to Vanessa!” He continued to struggle against Cain until he noticed the blood pouring down Vanessa's top. “Ness, I'm sorry!” He broke free of Cain’s grip and focused his attentions on her. 

“Please don't touch it!” She backed away as she tried to stem the blood. “It's OK Noah, I'll be fine.”

“You don't look fine to me babe.” Charity tilted her head up, Vanessa immediately began to choke as the blood clogged the back of the throat. She coughed hard, shaking herself free from her girlfriend's grasp. “I think we better take you to hospital, this doesn't look like it will stop on its own.” 

“And get rid of him!” Charity took a longer look at Kirin. The left eye was rapidly swelling causing it to partially close, his nose had bent and currently pouring blood and best of all, his lip had split so badly it looked like it needed stitching. “Cain, can you stay with Noah tonight?” She looked at her son who was on the verge of tears. 

“Sure.” He clapped Noah on the back. “You OK?” Noah looked at him and Charity saw his lip wobble.

“Take him out the back Charity, I'll stay out here, I can get a cab to the hospital.” Vanessa looked up, the last thing she wanted to see was Noah cry on his birthday. “I’m sure my sister will be more than happy to keep me company.”

Cain had begun marching Noah towards the residential door before stuffing him through. “Make sure you deposit that at the nearest bus stop. He’ll wait until morning.” He called back before lowering his voice to Noah. “Well done kid.” He ruffled Noah’s hair before leading him up the stairs.

In the meantime Charity had rounded on Kirin, her eyes flashed with pure anger as she saw the mess of her son’s party and her girlfriend’s nose. “Let him go.” She ordered Pete. “It wouldn’t be fair fight otherwise.” Pete did as he was told and backed away from Charity. “I would suggest leaving this village right now before I bust up that other eye for you.” She stood in Kirin’s personal space. 

Despite his physical appearance Kirin still managed to laugh. “Or what? You’ll beat me up too?”

“You do know me right? Now I suggest you leave my pub, my boy and my girlfriend or there will be hell to pay!” Her voice rose as she waited for Kirin’s smart alec answers.

“Girlfriend?” He looked between Charity and Vanessa. “Ness?” The smug grin he had been wearing had vanished and was replaced with utter confusion before the penny dropped.

“Yes pal, girlfriend. Now get lost. I’ll be happy to pay for a cab to get you the hell outta here!”

“Vanessa, you can’t be serious!” Kirin tried to take a step towards her and found Charity two inches from his face. 

“I’ve asked you once and I’m not gonna ask again. You’ve had plenty of warning.”

“I just wanna talk to her.” He pleaded, the hard act was clearly not working and now felt a change of tact would maybe go his way.

“Well she doesn’t talk to you. How about you bore off and leave me and my family in peace, you’ve already done enough damage and I swear to god pretty boy, that I will make your life misery if you don’t.” She turned on her heel and felt a hand grasp her forearm lightly. “Get your grubby hands off me.” Her voice was low and dangerous.

“No.” He stood up straight and held her stare.

“Charity don’t!” Vanessa lurched forward, it was too little too late as Charity headbutted Kirin’s nose, the remaining bone left in it crunched even further. Charity felt the blood drip down her forehead, feeling the immediate satisfaction of making a man twice her size crumpled into a heap.

“I warned you pal. I’m gonna order a taxi, Pete make sure he gets to Hotten.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirin still stirring up in the village and one unsure Chairty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of update. Really struggling writing at the moment, I have inspiration but at the most stupid moments.
> 
> Notes really happy with the chapter if I'm honest, I've tweeked, rewritten but I feel I need to move forward. 
> 
> As ever. Thank you for all your comments and kudos'.
> 
> Enjoy the remaining bit of Sunday. 
> 
> CT

It was gone 3am by the time the two women arrived back from hospital, they walked in to the pub to find it much as they left minus the people, Charity gave a large sigh, she was gonna have to get up and help Lydia if they had any hope of resuming normal lunch service by 12. Ness wandered straight through to the back, ignoring all the mess that surrounded her, her head was pounding and her eyes had narrowed due to the bruising. She had been let out with an xray and an appointment for the ENT clinic in 2 weeks time. Charity flicked the lights off in the bar and followed her through only to be met with a snoring Cain crumpled up on the sofa.

“That’ll be you tonight.” Charity grinned as Ness threw her a look, she took out her phone and snapped a few pictures for old times sake. 

“Really Charity?”

“Oh come on babe, it’s just a bit of fun. Besides, he’s 50 next year, I can’t let him forget.” Charity tucked her phone in to her pocket before heading up the two flights of stairs to their bedroom not before popping her head around Noah’s door. Her son was sound asleep, it didn’t look like he had been sick anymore but most of his water had been drunk, she grabbed his glass and quickly refilled it from the bathroom.

Vanessa had continued up to their bedroom, she was tired and exhausted, not to mention hurting. Her nose had been plugged by the doctors and she had been told not to move the packing for at least 24 hours. Charity had been less than helpful at the hospital when the nurses had been doing it, she insisted on sitting in the room whilst Ness had it done only to mock her girlfriend about having two very large tampons up her nose. Shedding her clothes she crawled into bed, the softness of the pillow enveloping her as she rested her weary eyes.

“Babe?” Charity called as she rounded the corner. “Oh sorry. Do you want a glass of water or some painkillers?”

“Both please.” Ness held her hand up to shield her eyes, the headache was getting worse and she was beginning to feel sick. “I feel awful.”

“Hardly surprising is it?” Charity rootled around her bedside draw for the emergency paracetamol she kept in there for when her or Ness had drunk too much. “Here.” She held out two pills before fetching two glasses of water. “You’ll feel better in the morning.”

“I doubt it. A broken nose, a hangover and my child’s father to deal with, what could be better on a sunday morning?”

Charity slid out of her clothes, they pooled around her feet and would stay there until picked up for tomorrow’s washing. “Do you think he’ll come back?” She moved the duvet before getting in. “He took a pounding from Noah, I was surprised that he wasn’t at the hospital when we were.”

“I really couldn’t care less. I don’t want to see him.”

Charity leant over to flick the light off, the room plunging into the darkness. “Alright babe.” Charity searched for her partner's body in the dark before pulling herself closer, a hand suddenly coming up to grasp her own. She stilled. “Babe?” Charity received no response except a small kiss on her hand. “Babe, you know I am here for you no matter what.”

\--

6am came around all to early for Charity, whilst she was still tired from the night before, her natural body clock knew it was time to get up. She woke up most mornings before Ness but liked being able to have the choice to lay in bed or get up. More often than not she was choosing to stay in her bed until Ness or the boys woke, the boys were the biggest pain. Both of them had grown considerably in the last four years and now took up a good proportion of the bed if they wanted cuddles with their mothers. Charity always made a song and dance about it but couldn't really complain when they pushed themselves in to the middle of the bed and under the duvet. She laid in the bed for a couple of minutes longer, enjoying the peacefulness of the dark mornings and the uninterrupted moment she had alone with her thoughts. Before she met Ness she would have hated it, preferring to not allow any time to despair on her car crash of a life, but now with the pub being busy, Vanessa's business and three boys who still lived with them, she hardly had a moment to spare. She grinned at the thought, she never would have seen herself having a proper job or owning her own business, it had taken a considerable amount of talking on her part to get to where she was now. That time she spent with her counsellor taught her it was OK to feel how she did but also gave her the coping mechanisms to work through it, she had almost lost her children, partner and business as the result of her behaviour. The look on Vanessa's face still brought a wave of shame over her whenever she dwelled on the thought, the things she said, she knew if the shoe had been on the other foot there was no way she would have stayed. Her counsellor told her to use that moment if she ever felt herself slipping, remember how it felt and remember how far she had come. She glanced at Vanessa once more, her naked back peeking out from the covers as she slept. Still here. 

\--

Charity had managed a pair of her silk pyjamas and fluffy slippers that were currently walking round the pub with a bin bag in tow, sighing loudly at how long this was going to take. 

“Here Mum.” The deepness of the voice made her jump as she found her son stood behind her holding out a cup of tea. 

“Noah!” She grappled with her chest until the beating subsided slightly. “You didn't half give me a fright.”

“Have you seen yourself in the morning?”

“Oi you cheeky begger!” She clipped him around the head before aliviating him of the tea. “Thanks babe. How are you feeling?”

“Better than what I should I reckon. I couldn’t sleep, I heard you come down here.”

“What about Cain? When I went past he was still asleep.”

“Still the same.” He grinned as he leant against the bar, twiddling his mug around in his hands, unwilling to give any more contact. “Mum, I’m sorry about last night. I’m sorry about all the trouble I caused, I just couldn’t stand to hear him say those things about Ness. I feel really bad, she was trying to pull me off him and I hit her.” He dropped his head, the shame washing over him once more. “Is she alright?”

“Broken nose, a couple of black eyes. Normal day in the office for her, she always says she has rubber bones.” Charity placed her hand over Noah’s. “Babe I’m sure she’ll be fine. I hate the thought that this will be your only memory of your birthday.”

“I dunno, the BMW was a pretty good part and drinking out that welly.”

“I can’t believe you did that, which reminds me, you are cleaning the entire bar down, I only managed to mop up the worst.”

“I am sorry Mum. I really didn’t mean to cause trouble.”

Charity ruffled her son’s hair and smiled. “You ruined nothing babe, as long as you had a good time. And let’s face it, when does any Dingle party go without a fight?”

He smiled and laughed. “True.”

They sat in the quiet of the pub, sipping tea and chatting idly. Charity had a sudden sinking feeling that she wasn’t going to be able to do that very soon, sure Noah would only be in Manchester but he was still not going to be here.

“Morning.” Vanessa appeared at the bar clutching a cup of tea and looking very sleepy. 

“Morning babe.” Charity held out her arm for Vanessa, she rolled into her embrace before a soft kiss was placed on her temple. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I’ve been hit with a truck. My head is killing me.” Vanessa took a look at Noah who looked uneasy at the whole situation, he wouldn’t maintain eye contact with her. “Noah?” She quizzed, releasing Charity and standing close to him. “Thank you.” She placed a kiss on his cheek and enveloped him in to a hug. “I know you tried to help last night and I know you didn’t mean to hurt me, that’ll teach me to try and take on someone double my size.”

Noah was so surprised he just sat there, he looked for his mother’s guidance, she just smiled at him and nodded. He wrapped his arms around her tightly. “I’m sorry Ness. I really didn’t mean it.”

“I know you didn’t.” She stroked his hair, something which she did to Charity when she needed soothing. “Let’s hope that he doesn’t come back eh? I’d hate for you to have to defend my honour again.” 

\--

A week went by and not a peep was heard from Vanessa’s ex and it was very much business as usual for the family. Noah had received more pats on the back for his brawl than he could count and had spent the majority of his week whizzing everywhere in his new car.

The two smaller boys had questioned what had happened to their mother’s face, Charity has made up some elaborate story of a cow, a pig and a horse, even Vanessa couldn’t keep up. She was sat in the office, a rare afternoon with minimal bookings and the phone had barely rung. Vanessa had sent a silent prayer to god that there would be no interruptions, she had a stack of paperwork that needed going through, Pearl still would jot things down on paper and it drove Vanessa bonkers.

She clamped a pen between her teeth as she stared at the screen, prodding the keys to input the numbers in to the right boxes. Pearl had had a week off and with another week to go it meant that Vanessa was stuck playing office manager once more. Rhona had tricked her into doing it, she had lied about an emergency call out before dashing out leaving her restocked bag in the back of the surgery. Still, if she wanted another holiday, she was going to have to make people pay for their sick animals. Vanessa squinted once more, unable to decipher the handwriting. She was gonna kill this new vet, the last one managed to find herself pregnant with triplets no less and after 6 months maternity cover decided it was simply impossible. This time round Vanessa had declared it would have to be a male vet, much to Pearl's delight as she couldn't cope with all the drama. Cue, Ken the vet, mid fifties, married and a traditional Yorkshire man. No baggage, just a good, honest, hard working bloke who (and best of all) was able to cope with the highly strung Veronica. Rhona had gone up to introduce Ken to Veronica and the two had immediately sized one another up before getting down to business, insults exchanged in expressions and a swift service. Rhona had simply blinked and blended in to the background, silently wanting to dance round the stables that she wouldn't have to deal with Veronica any more. 

Ness was lost in her thoughts as her phone went off, she grinned as she saw the aubergine emoji followed by a heart from Charity. Nearly 5 years on and she could still make her have the most inappropriate thoughts with the most simplest of things. She typed out a quick response, ‘no I'm busy and important’ as the door to the vets swung open. Ness looked up, the smile from her face dropping from her face like a stone. 

“No way, I'm not doing this.” She stood up, backing away from the desk and ready to bolt. 

“Ness, I'm here, I need to speak to you.” Kirin limped forward, his face swollen, cut and bruised. 

“I said everything to you the other night.”

“But I have stuff I need to say to you.”

“How are you even back here, last time I heard from your father you had buggered off to the other side of the world.”

“He's not well, he's dying, I had to come back to see him.”

“Surprised you cared, I hope you wrote more in Johnny's letter than his.” Vanessa silently cursed herself for mentioning her son's name. 

“Look Ness, I know I haven't been in Johnny's life and I was a totally shit father to him but you have to understand-”

“I don't have to understand anything!” She roared. “I don't have to do anything I don't want to. I'm an adult Kirin, I stayed with my child, I didn't abandon him, I didn't leave him! I have coped perfectly well for the last 7 years without you and Johnny has never once asked about his father!”

“Vanessa, I just want a relationship with my son. Being here with my Dad has made me realise how important that is. I know I messed up, I know I did a shitty thing to you and him and I wanna make it up, I wanna prove that I can be the man you want,” Kirin coughed as his mistake. “Wanted.” He corrected. 

“I don't want any man, Johnny has two parents, he is surrounded by people who love him, care for him. Christmas, birthdays, Sundays, people who have been there since the beginning.”

“Charity a parent, really?” He scoffed at the notion. “Didn't have much luck with any of her kids last time I was here.”

“Don't you even dare and to try and tear her down! She is worth a million of you and the rest. Charity has been there for me when I needed someone, she has been there when no one else was and most importantly she has been there for our son. She holds him when he's upset, she plays with him, she disciplines him, she cares for him, she loves him.”

“I love him too.”

“Oh no you don't. You made it perfectly clear the night you left how you felt about my son. You have no right to him and there is no way I will let you anywhere near him.” Vanessa wiped away the stray tear that had fallen down her cheek in anger. 

“I am trying Ness, why won't you let me show you?”

The door swung open to reveal Frank, he clapped his eyes on to his daughter before giving a cold, hard stare to Kirin who visibly shrunk. “I think you better leave. My daughter has made it perfectly clear where you stand.” Frank stood out of the way of the door, holding it open as he gestured. Kirin shuffled forward, before looking back at Ness, he stumbled as Frank grabbed the front of his shirt. 

“Dad don't!”

“Unlike you, I'll do what my daughter asks. Just remember if you come back, I'll match those bruises and more.” He let go before dusting the front of Kirin’s shirt. “Goodbye.”

\--

Vanessa was sat on the sofa, glass of wine in hand as she thought to herself. She failed to notice Charity slip in to the room and place an arm around her before planting a kiss on her cheek. “Hey babe.” She greeted with an overly large grin. “I was thinking that you and me…”

“I'm busy Charity.” Ness stood up, pushing herself away from her. “Haven't you got a punter you can annoy instead of me?” 

Charity raised her eyebrows, deciding to ignore the dig. “What's wrong? Have you killed a hamster again?”

Vanessa glared. “That's not funny.”

“I thought it was pretty funny. Especially when the thing came back to life, little fucker was faking it.” Charity snickered at the memory before looking at Vanessa's face. “Sorry, not funny.”

“Kirin came to see me today.” She breathed out, wrapping her arms around herself. 

“What?” Charity stood up before taking a step closer. “I hope you gave him what for.”

“I tried, he just wouldn't leave.”

“What do you mean he wouldn't leave?” Charity's voice had a steely edge to it, when Vanessa didn't answer she pushed. “Vanessa? What do you mean he wouldn't leave.”

“He didn't hurt me Charity if that's what you mean. He came to talk, told me his dad was ill and it made him think about his relationship and how he wanted one with Johnny.”

“Babe please don't tell me you are thinking about letting him?”

“I didn't get the chance, Dad walked in, he threatened him before forcing him to leave.”

“First time for everything Frank.” Charity muttered. 

“Really not the time.” Vanessa sat back down, sighing at the thought. “I don't know what it has made me feel, it's like there is a big pit of swirling emotions and I don't know what to do for the better.”

“I'll tell you, have Frank dust him up and send him on his merry way.”

“It's not that Charity, I look at other people who didn't have a relationship with their father for years, me included and now I look at how far they have come.”

“Babe you really can't be thinking about letting Kirin back in?” Charity's heart began to pound, she felt like everything she had built was about to spectacularly come crumbling down. 

“I don't know what I want Charity, I haven't even told Johnny that Kirin is here, it's last thing I need. Moses questions where Ross is. I don't know how many times you've told him that his daddy has ha md to go away. ”

“That's because Ross is 300 miles away in prison. I don't want Moses remembering who his dad is, he doesn't need to know his father is a murdering lunatic.”

“What about as he gets older? He’s Pete’s brother, he’s gonna ask about him?”

“I dunno babe, I haven’t thought that far ahead. I’ll make something up as we go along.”

“And when that idea fails?”

“Buy Moses a really big present?”

“Charity-”

“Kidding babe.” Charity leant over and placed a kiss on the side of her face. “Why don’t I take you out for a drink? Take your mind off it for a little while.”

“I’m not really feeling it Charity.”

Charity gave her a sad smile before looping her arm around Vanessa’s shoulders, pulling her closer as she felt her girlfriend snuggle into the side of her, her hand coming to grip Charity's top tightly. 

Vanessa was unnerving Charity, the reactions she was receiving were not the usual and it truth, it terrified her.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirin is still pushing his luck and Charity is struggling to process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay, a promotion in work means my brain is pretty fried come the evening!

“Jesus Christ!” Ness found herself gripping on to the headboard as she came down from her euphoric high, the blonde hair tickling her thighs as she held Charity’s head in place, enjoying the last few waves pulse through her body. “God you are good at that.”

Charity flipped her long hair out of her face and grinned. “I know.” She crawled her way back up the bed before flopping down next to Vanessa. “You are such hard work. My jaw aches.” She rubbed it. “What took you so long?”

“Your post sex talk has really taken a turn for the worst.”

“It’s taken you-” Charity checked the clock. “-Half and hour. When does it ever take you that long? I hope I am not losing my touch.” She traced a finger from hip bone to hip bone causing Vanessa to shiver away from the contact. 

“No, you’re great babe.”

“I feel like you are flatlining on me.”

“Sorry.” Vanessa turned to look at Charity, she placed her hand on her cheek before turning her head back to look straight ahead. “I’ve got a lot on my mind.” 

Charity tilted her head to the side to look at Vanessa, her eyes were fixed on the ceiling and she let out a heavy sigh. “I know it's difficult babe. You can talk to me though.” She reached forward and rubbed Vanessa's bare hip once more, she always felt safer with a physical connection. She hoped Ness felt the same. 

“Advice from Charity Dingle about opening up and talking, what did I do to you?”

“Vanessa Woodfield deflecting, what did I do to you?”

They grinned at one another, the years between them showing themselves in an unspoken manner, a knowing look or smile was sufficient these days to know what the other was thinking. Except, Charity didn’t, the shoe was very much on the other foot and she realised the hell she had put Vanessa through all those years ago. She turned back to the ceiling and continued to stare, unsure what to do.

\--

Charity woke up with a start, the cold around her naked body instantly made her reach out for her partner, instead she was met with the coolness of the mattress. Sitting up she looked around, she could make out the faint shapes and no light was seeping from the cracks to the door of the bathroom. “Ness?” Charity swung her legs out of the bed, pulled her robe off the back of the door and slung it over her body. As she padded quietly down the stairs she stopped to check on each one of her boys, they were all sound asleep. 

Reaching the bottom of the stairs she checked the kitchen, no sign of Vanessa there, lights were still all off. Charity switched the side light on as she went past, before flicking the kettle on. She frowned as the kettle ticked over after 20 seconds, the kettle must have been boiled recently. A spoon had been left near the kettle, a semi warm tea bag still left in the dish. “Vanessa?” She called out before receiving nothing but silence in answer. Charity felt the panic rise in her, this was uncharacteristic for her girlfriend, she never disappeared, she was always there, she always told her where she was going. She felt her skin go clammy, ditching the kettle she headed for the stairs, her head turned, noticing the door was ajar. Charity knew she locked it, the chain wasn’t across and the night latch was open. Peering round the door she breathed a sigh of relief as she saw Vanessa sitting on the step. “Babe?” Vanessa turned around, cigarette caught between her lips as she took a drag. “Are you smoking?” Charity raised an eyebrow before shutting the door.

“No.” Vanessa blew out a ring of smoke before tapping the ash away. 

“Babe, you have got to talk to me. I can’t help you if you won’t.” Charity sat down on the step before taking the cigarette out of her girlfriend’s fingertips and drawing on it. “Didn’t realise you smoked Ness, you always seemed too much of a goody two shoes.”

“Twenty years ago you would have seen me puffing my way through university through a packet of Marlboro reds without any question.”

“Never pegged you as a smoker.”

“I blame Rhona, she was the one who started me. Took me a few years after university to give up.” She paused taking another drag. “I had an great uncle, he died of lung cancer, smoked 20 a day since he was 13. I had to give up after that.” Vanessa took the cigarette back and continued to draw on it hard. “Now I like one every now and then. More now than then at the moment.”

“I never knew.”

“Easy to hide it babe, sneaky fag here and there. I can say I've been standing with punters.” She looked at Charity's worried expression. “I promise you this is the only thing I've kept from you. I just don't want the boys to find out.” She reached for her partner's hand and squeezed it, refusing to let go. 

“That in itself is a lie Vanessa.”

“What do you mean? I don't lie to you Charity.”

“There is something going on in that big brain of yours and you keep telling me you're fine when you're clearly not. Kirin coming here is a shock for everyone, especially with how he left but you won't talk to me about it. I'm your partner babe, not just some random person. Please let me be there for you. I want to be there for you.” Charity allowed the silence to hang between them as Vanessa finished her cigarette. She watched as Ness stubbed the fag out with excessive vigour before lighting another. “Are you aiming to smoke the whole pack?” A sideways glare reached Charity before pulling back on the cigarette again. “Babe, I don't care about the smoking, I care about you.”

Vanessa felt her eyes well, she had broken plenty of times in front of her partner previously but this time around couldn't allow herself to. She stayed quiet, refusing to say any more. “Bloody things.” She stubbed out the remaining half. “No wonder they call them lung bleeders.”

“Babe look at me.” Charity put her hands on Vanessa’s thigh. She watched her girlfriend’s chest heave as tears welled. “Babe look at me.” Charity saw Vanessa’s torso crumple before making the decision to pull her close, she felt sob against her neck and the wetness of the tears trickle down her skin. “I’ve got you. I’ve got you babe.” She stroked her hair before placing a soft kiss to the top of her head. “I knew this had gotten to you.” Charity pulled back and cradled Vanessa’s face in her hands before wiping a tear away with her thumb. It suddenly occurred to her how the roles had reversed, five years ago Vanessa was doing exactly the same thing to her, different scenario, same current position. How on earth her girlfriend ever managed to stay with her was a mystery. 

Ness curled her hands tighter around Charity’s neck and entwined it with her hair, she felt all the tears that she had been holding back explode out of her in great heaving motions. She squeezed, wanting to feel as close as possible, the tightness in her stomach uncoiling ever so slightly. “I’m sorry.”

“What are you apologising for you daft mare? You have nothing to be sorry about. I think you and me need to go back in the warm and sit down and have a chat.”

\--

“Here you are babe.” Charity handed Vanessa the hot mug before sitting down on the opposite side of the settee. 

“Thanks.”

“Now tell me what is going on in that head of yours. I know it's Kirin, I just want you to talk and I'll listen.” Charity reached out with her free hand and clasped Vanessa's. “I love you babe and I can't bare seeing you in pain.” Charity bit back the real question she wanted to ask, she was scared that once Vanessa admitted her true feelings she may want to go back to him, to be with the father of her child. 

“Honestly, I wouldn't even know where to begin.”

“Hold on.” Vanessa's eyes followed Charity to the drawers of the Welsh dresser, she saw her pulling out a pen and paper. 

“What are you doing?” 

Charity sat back before handing the pen and paper over. “Write it, write down whatever comes in to your head, it doesn't need to make sense to anyone but you. Get it out Ness, if not to me then just to you.”

Ness set the items aside and smiled, it was the smile that showed Charity how much she loved her, the soft curve of her lips and the depth in her eyes. “You really are one of a kind aren't you?” 

Charity was taken aback. Not so much for Vanessa's words but for the way she switched the conversation, turning it into them rather than the bigger picture. “I think I have taught you too much over the years.” She stroked the back of her girlfriend's hand with her pinkie. “If you will not talk to me, you do need some outlet Vanessa, this is not you. The normal you would be gibbering nineteen to the dozen. You've hardly said two words to me this week and I get you're stressed and freaking out babe, but this isn't just going to go away. Speak to someone, speak to anyone, I can put you in contact with my counsellor if you wanted.” Charity paused, licking her lips before deciding to proceed with her innermost thought. “I'm scared OK babe, I'm scared that everything we've built is about to fall. I love you, I love my boys, I love Johnny, he's not just like a son, he is my son and I feel like that part of my life is going to be ripped away from me. I know I am being selfish and I know what this is about, but trust me babe when I say I support you in every way, whatever decision or decisions you will make, I will be there holding your hand.” 

Vanessa swallowed hard, her eyes slightly glazing with unspoiled tears. “That is some speech.” She leant over and lightly touched Charity's cheek before placing a soft kiss on her lips. “Thank you Charity.” She picked up the pen and began to write. 

Charity watched as words tumbled on to the page, whilst she felt like she was beginning to get Vanessa to open up, the response she got from her girlfriend provided her with no actual reassurance. 

\--

Two days later Charity found herself sitting with her counsellor once more. The visits had dwindled over the subsequent years but. Charity still liked to attend every now and then when she could feel the pent up emotion becoming too much for her. 

“G and T as always?” Carrie smiled at her before placing two heaped spoons of sugar in her own tea before adding milk to Charity’s. 

“Please.” 

“So what brings you back to me?”

Charity certainly wasn't the longest standing client by a mile but Carrie secretly enjoyed spending time with her. The woman was highly intelligent, dry, witty and a far nicer person than her police records suggested, the initial frost had worn off after the first six months and Carrie found she was able to work with Charity. Perhaps the most surprising of all Charity actually started to look forward to her sessions. She mentally joked to herself that she was turning in to Rebecca, carrying a tiny notebook around with her recording her thoughts and musings, it helped. She was able to process the myriad of emotions that had been kept inside her for so long and finally let go of the person that she didn't want to be anymore. She felt lighter, like each day was fresh, new and bright, then she would scoff at herself and laugh because she never thought that would be her, Vanessa, sure. She was like a bottle of sunshine, but Charity Dingle, queen bitch of the village, no, absolutely not. 

“Vanessa.” Charity huffed as she picked up her own cup of tea and leant back in to the sofa. “Kirin’s turned back up, demanding to see Ness. He’s Johnny’s dad, waste of space.” Carrie noticed her grip on the mug tightening further. “He was 17 when he knocked Vanessa up, completely clueless. I didn’t know the details then, it was only when she sat down and told me what she went through with him, Adam and Johnny I realised that’s why she understood half my problems.”

“Who’s Adam?”

Charity scoffed and laughed out loud to herself. “Ness has always been a bit of a maneater, well, until, you know.” She grinned. “A better offer came along. She slept with the both at the same time and that age old story happened that she didn’t know who the Dad was. She struggled to bond with Johnny, he was unwell as the beginning, arrived really early and spent so long in the ICU. She didn’t bond with him, I think she probably suffered post natal depression. Cut a long story short, she thought Adam was the dad and it turned out it was Kirin and he couldn’t hack being a father. Adam was wanted for murder and bolted and Kirin was wanted for god knows what, they both ran and left Vanessa to raise Johnny on her own.” Charity listened to her own words ringing around the room. “And I thought she had an easy life.” She leant forward, putting her elbows on her knees. “Kirin came back. He wants to speak to Vanessa, he wants to be there for Johnny.”

Carrie smiled at Charity. “And you are scared she might want to go back to him?”

Charity looked at Carrie dead in the eyes. “Terrified.”

“It’s understandable given some of the past relationships you have told me about. It’s the longest relationship you’ve had and you’ve been through a lot together, you’ve always made it clear how much she means to you even in our very first few sessions.”

“It’s not just her though, it’s the boys too. Johnny calls me Mummy, I’ve been Mummy for 4 years to him. He adores Moses and he’s treated like a Dingle, he’s definitely got the temper. We live together, we’re a family and I don’t want to lose that. For the first time in my life I am truly happy, I don’t wake up thinking about what shit will hit the fan, I don’t have to worry about where the next meal is coming from, I don’t have to get myself involved in dodgy schemes to get by.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” A soft smile graced her face. “I get you’re worried and you have every right to be, how is Vanessa taking it?”

“I don’t know, she won’t talk to me. I gave her a pen and pad to write down her feelings but I didn't get any further. I even offered for her to come and see you, she won’t talk to anyone, she’s so distant. I feel like we’re just existing, we still talk but it’s mostly about the day to day things, boys, bills, food shopping, the usual shit.” She shrugged. “It came to me that this is how Vanessa felt when I wouldn’t open up to her. It’s horrible, I can’t believe I put her through this.” She sat back once more and looked at Carrie for some guidance. “Any advice right now would be great.”

“Well, I think you did the right thing in giving her the pen and paper, you and I both know that talking isn’t the easiest thing in the world when you feel like your life is going to implode.” Carrie paused and observed Charity’s body language before continuing. “She just needs to know you are there for her, you know that.”

“I am trying.”

“I know you are Charity. Don’t give up, she will come round.”

\--

Charity had pulled her hair up in to her bun when she had come out the counselors, the heat was getting to her and she felt too hot. She just about scraped getting to school on time to pick up the two smallest boys before taking them for a quick stop at KFC, it would save having to feed the ravenous two when she got home. Arriving round the back of the pub, she turned the ignition off and sighed before gathering up her handbag, her phone blinking at her that she had a missed call, she couldn’t be bothered, she would look later. Right now she wanted a bath and some time to herself.

“Come on you two, get a wiggle on or I’ll leave you outside for the wolves.” She smiled as they wriggled out of the back of the car, she needed to get a new one soon, this one had done too many miles and was about as big as a shoebox when all five of them had to travel in it.

Charity opened the door before letting the boys run in ahead, she turned towards the closed living room door, she could hear voices, one of them being Ness, the other being one she really didn’t want to acknowledge. Before she could react the two whirlwinds flew past her and straight in to the living room, she did her best to stop them but it was too late.

“No! Johnny! Moses! Come back here now!” Charity bellowed after them before storming into the living room, her yes immediately locking with Vanessa’s before darting to Kirin’s. She felt like time had frozen as she watched the scene unfold in front of her.

“Mummy!” Johnny came flying at his mother, the sugar high of too much ice cream finally hitting him and he nearly knocked Vanessa flying. “Mummy brought us a KFC! And ice cream.” Vanessa tried to wrangle her child as he wrapped himself around her waist, she stroked his hair before pulling him off and kneeling down to talk to him. 

“Hey Johnny.”

Johnny’s head turned to look at the man stood in the room. “Mum who is he?”

“Charity, get both of them out of here now.” Vanessa didn’t raise her voice but there was a sharp edge to it.

“Moses, get here and go upstairs with Johnny, you can play on the Xbox. Go on.” She nodded her head in the direction of the stairs as Moses flew past her, heading immediately for the stairs.

“Hey Johnny.” Kirin tried again, he brought himself down to Johnny’s height and smiled kindly. “Hey Johnny, my name’s Kirin, I’m your-”

“Don’t you even dare!” Vanessa rose, she pushed Johnny behind her, shielding him from anything further. “You are nothing Kirin! Do you hear me, absolutely nothing! You do not get to talk to my son!

“Mum?” Johnny was looking up at her, he had seen his mother angry but not like this. 

“Come here babe.” Charity swooped across the room to scoop him up in to her arms. He was really too big and heavy but she wanted him as far away from this as possible, she could see the situation was about to explode. “You go upstairs with Moses, go play with him for a bit, me and Mummy need to talk to Kirin.” Charity turned and began to stagger out the room with Johnny in her arms.

“Who is he?” Johnny looked at Kirin as he left the room.

“Nobody babe. He’s nobody.”

“I’m not nobody!” Kirin called back in anger. “I’m your Dad Johnny! Do you hear me? I’m your Daddy!”

Charity held on to Johnny tightly as she froze in the doorframe. “Mummy?” He looked between the two women, he didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know what to say. “Daddy?” He looked back at Kirin. “You are my Daddy? I don't understand? I don’t have a Dad. Mum, what’s going on?”

“I told you not to!” Vanessa placed herself in front of Kirin, tears in her eyes. “Charity, take him upstairs please!” She was desperate and panicking, Johnny has just had his world turned upside down in 3 seconds.

Charity obeyed, dropping Johnny at the bottom of the stairs and following up behind him. “Come on babe, up the stairs, quick, quick, quick!” She chased him up before going in to his room where Moses was already playing a game that involved plants and zombies. 

Johnny sat down in his beanbag, he looked confused. “Mum?”

“Yes babe?” Charity knelt down on the floor, this wasn't a conversation for her, this needed to be done with Ness present. 

“Why is that man saying he is my Dad?”

“I know it’s tricky babe.” She stroked his hair softly and cupped his chin in her hand. “I promise you Mummy and I will come and speak to you once this has been sorted. Ok?” She nodded. “Hmm?” Johnny nodded his head along with her. “You’re a good boy and mummy and I love you very much. I promise you it's nothing that you've done.” Charity kissed him on the head before moving to Moses and doing that same thing. “Now, if you want anything just call, I don't want either of you coming downstairs, alright?”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charity experiences what it like to have the shoe on the other foot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay, lots of stuff going on over the holidays and just recouping at home so actually had some time to write. As ever, thank you for all the likes and kudos'. Struggled with this chapter a bit, given myself a bit of a talking to and trying to develop the story.

Charity ran down the stairs as fast as she could without falling, she could hear Vanessa's angry voice emanating from the the living room again. Charity knew the voice, it was the same one she used when they were trying to have an argument without the boys hearing. 

“I specifically asked you not to do that!”

“Well Vanessa, it's time Johnny knew who is father is!”

Charity rounded the corner and found them face to face, Kirin was towering over her girlfriend, his finger pointing down at her. Despite him being at least a foot taller, she held fast, eye contact unwavering and her jaw set. For a split second the old Charity surfaced, she wanted to pull Kirin away and beat him senseless. That had already been done by Noah, this time she approached quietly, her arm slipping around her girlfriend’s waist as she squared up to Kirin. 

“I thought I told you to leave.” Her face had also set in stone as she stared, her heels made her just a few inches shorter than the man in front of her.

“You have no say what happens to my son!” Kirin finally lost his temper and roared at the two women. “I have been asking for a second chance, Johnny needs a man in his life, he needs a Dad!”

“So two women cannot raise a decent child? Seemed to be working out last time I checked.” Charity snarked. “Johnny doesn't seem to have a problem with it, none of the rest of our families have a problem with it, none of Johnny's friends have a problem with it, in fact, now I think about it, the woman who we met at the play center didn't have a problem with it. The only person who does is you Kirin.” Charity looked at Vanessa, she could feel her quivering under her touch, the rage burning through her body. “Am I correct babe?” She received a quick nod. “So Kirin as I am a better person than when you last met me, I am going to give you another chance.” She dropped her hand from Vanessa and took a step forward so she was inches from his face. “Get the fuck out of my pub or I will make sure your life is turned in to a living hell.”

Kirin’s gaze flicked quickly at his ex, realising he was not going to win this round he took a step back. “Okay. I'm sorry for what it's worth. Call me if you change your mind.” He slipped past Vanessa before placing his card in her hand. “Bye.”

\--

Vanessa had been quiet for the following half an hour, Charity plonked another tea in front of her with a resounding thud before removing the cold previous one, she dipped her head trying to get Vanessa to make eye contact but she was intent at boring a hole in to the coffee table. “Johnny is going to ask questions babe.” Charity finally spoke after what felt like an age. “He already tried asking me upstairs.”

Ness’ head whirled round. “What did you say?”

“I told him we loved him very much and would explain once we had sorted it out.”

“Why would you say that? He doesn't need to know about Kirin!” Vanessa stood up, her eyes leveling at Charity. 

“Ness, I can’t lie to him! He’s not a little kid anymore, he understands that something is going on.” Charity went to take a step forward.

“Why not? You spent your entire life lying, what’s changed now?”

Charity physically reeled backwards in surprise, Vanessa was never one to raise her voice or get shirty towards her no matter the case. She tried to hide how much the comment hurt her. “Ouch babe. I’m trying to help.”

“Well you’re not doing a very good job are you?” Vanessa stormed off, the door slammed shut before Charity heard the footfalls going up the stairs. 

Charity sighed, the words causing the twist in her gut to knot the more she thought about it. She tried to rationalise that Vanessa was upset and it wasn’t really her she was angry with. Her eyes turned to the bottles of alcohol that adorned the top shelf in the kitchen, the whisky oh so sweet and tempting. Her fingers twitched as if they had a mind of their own, aching to move and grasp the corked top, to hear that satisfying pop before watching the amber liquid swirl to glass. She got up, marching across to the kitchen, her eyes flicking at the bottles and which one to choose, she hovered, before dropping her hand back to her side. The sharp stab of her phone hit her on the inside of the wrist, she swore loudly, cursing the stupidly expensive piece of technology. Pulling it out she looked at the phone, tapping it on the back of her hand before opening the lock and typing out a furious text. ‘Can you fit me in tomorrow, had a row with Vanessa, need to speak.’ Charity closed her phone, she gave the bottles one last glance before deciding to head out to the bar to give the new barmaid a hand.

\--

Vanessa sat on a bench and looked across the dales, the warmth that had been in her coffee mug had been taken long ago by the the bitter wind whipping across the dales. The inky black clouds were rolling in with a heavy presence, their darkness only adding fuel to Vanessa’s already foul mood. She put her coffee down to pull her coat and scarf around her a bit tighter to fend off the impending weather front. Vanessa figured that she must have been sat on the bench for a good proportion of the afternoon, the light was beginning to fade and she felt the first twinge of hunger in her stomach.

“Room for a little one?” Charity said with a soft smile before stopping to look at Vanessa who had failed to even look at her. She noticed her girlfriend’s jaw crossing, lips rolled inwards as she ran her tongue along the edge. “I brought you a fresh coffee.” Charity held out the cup, when no offer was made to take it she popped it beside Vanessa, grasping her own cup with her now spare hand Charity looked down at the grass. She didn’t want to sit by Vanessa unless asked, instead she balanced a hip on the end of the bench. “You’ll need to come back soon babe or you’ll catch your death, it look like it’s gonna snow.” Charity looked for some form of reaction from her girlfriend but there was still nothing, minutes went by before Vanessa said anything.

“Are you sitting down or just coming here to annoy me?”

“I was waiting to see if you actually wanted me here or if you wanted to be left alone.” Charity watched Vanessa roll her eyes before she inched her way onto the bench. She admitted to herself that she had no idea what to do in these situations, as much as she tried to get it right, she often found that she would stick her foot in it and get it wrong. All Charity wanted to do was reach over, hold Vanessa’s hand and tell her everything was going to be alright, she reasoned with inner self, Ness had done it plenty of times when she was struggling, why not now? 

Vanessa felt Charity pull herself closer before a warm hand enveloped her own in her lap, she squeezed it hard before looking down at the linked fingers. “Who knew it would be you in this position eh?” She smiled softly at her partner who offered her the same in return. “Charity Dingle, gone soft.”

She rolled her eyes in response. “Yeah alright, just don’t tell anyone.” They sat in further silence, slowly sipping their coffees, hands still linked until they were finished. Charity was the first to pull away, the loss of contact causing Vanessa to frown. Ness felt an arm around the back of her, pulling her ever closer so she could lean her head on the proffered shoulder. She cuddled in to her girlfriend’s side. “You’re shaking.” Charity stated simply. “You’ve been out here way too long Ness, you’re gonna catch your death. Let me get you home and run a bath, talk or don’t talk to me, I just wanna make sure you’re ok.”

Vanessa nodded against her shoulder. “Where are the boys?”

“Frank has them-” She paused, not knowing whether or not the next sentence was a good idea. “I told him what has happened, I’ve asked him not to let Kirin anywhere near the boys, please don’t panic.” She could feel Vanessa tensing before she started shivering from the cold once more. “C’mon babe, let’s get you home.” Charity stood using her weight to pull Vanessa with her. “Let’s get you warm.” She gently kissed Ness’ head as they link their arms together for the slow walk home.

\--

Charity ran the large bath that they had been known to share, she didn’t bother with the usual lavender scents that Vanessa favoured, she was more concerned about getting her girlfriend warm. “Ness? Babe?” She called out, wondering where on earth Vanessa had got to, she had left her in their bedroom to get undressed. She rounded the corner to find Vanessa sat on the bed in her dressing gown, holding a piece of paper with tears in her eyes. “Babe, what’s wrong?” Charity sat on the bed and took the piece of paper off Vanessa, her eyes scanning furiously. “Oh god babe, I never realised you’d put Kirin on here, I thought you had just had Adam removed.”

“It felt wrong not to. I thought it was a good idea at the time, if Kirin ever came back or Johnny wanted to know who his Dad was, his family, his heritage, he had a right to know. I wish to god I hadn’t.”

Vanessa looked so defeated, Charity felt like her heart was being torn into multiple pieces, she felt utterly helpless. “I know babe, you always want to do the right thing, even if it's not the right thing for you.” She rubbed Vanessa’s forearm. “Come on babe, let’s get you in the bath and warm you up.” Charity took her girlfriend's hand and lead her towards the open door, the steam billowing out. Vanessa stood by the bath, totally transfixed by nothing in particular, motionless and unblinking. “Here.” Charity stood behind Vanessa, undoing the front of her robe and removing the silk garment from her body before hanging on the back of the bathroom door. “Get in the bath babe.” Vanessa didn’t move. Silently, Charity began removing her own clothes, leaving them to pool on floor where she dropped them. “Come on.” She grasped Vanessa’s hand and stepped over the bath, Vanessa followed dutifully as her girlfriend carefully wrapped an arm around her middle before pulling her between her legs.

“It’s hot.” Vanessa hissed as she settled in between Charity’s legs.

“Do you want some cold in?”

“No.” She settled her head on Charity's head, her bun fitting between the nape of her neck. “Wouldn’t mind the lavender oil though.” Charity caught the small smirk that tugged on her lips as her girlfriend have her a sideways glance.

“Cheeky mare.” 

Vanessa heard the mutter as she felt Charity’s body turn underneath her, she closed her eyes and allowed for the floral scent to invade her senses. She felt the weight of the day leave her body and allowed herself to float away against the soft touch of her partner. Charity trailed a slow finger down Ness’ abs before splaying her hand and trailing her fingertips back and forth. Vanessa hummed in appreciation before turning her head to place a soft kiss on Charity’s jaw line. “I’m sorry for earlier.”

“It’s ok babe.”

“No it’s not. I said things to you which you didn't deserve.” Vanessa grasped Charity’s forearm and rubbed it. “I’m sorry.” Charity pressed a long kiss to Vanessa’s head and held her quietly. After a while Vanessa spoke again. “I wish it was you.”

“What babe?”

“I wish it was you on that birth certificate.”

She froze, unsure how this conversation was going to unfold. “What do you mean babe? Why would I be on Johnny’s birth certificate?”

“I love Johnny, more than anything and I wouldn’t change him for the world but I wish I didn’t have to try and sort this out. If it was you on the certificate then Kirin would have no rights to him, he wouldn’t be able to try and see Johnny. You’re the one he calls Mum, he hasn’t got a clue about having a Dad. I meant what I said, you’ve been here when he had chicken pox, when he’s been ill, taken him to the hospital when he split his head falling off the swings, made him lunches for school, tuck him in at night. All things any parent should do if they are looking after their child. Kirin’s never done any of that, you do it every day without thinking.”

Charity rested her cheek against Vanessa, a rouge tear making its way down her face. She gripped Vanessa’s hand slightly tighter before whispering next to her ear. “He’s ours, no matter what anyone says.” Charity felt Vanessa turn round, a hand cupping her face and her lips met with the softness that was only know as her partner’s. Vanessa drew back. “What was that for babe?”

“For being so amazing.” She placed a kiss on the side of her neck. “An’ for knowing exactly what I needed.” Vanessa pushed herself away from Charity before settling on the other side of the bath, her height evident as the water reached her chin. 

Charity watched her girlfriend close her eyes and let out a small contented hum., she allowed herself to unashamedly allow her eyes to rake over Vanessa’s body, taking in the smallest of details that she has come to cherish over the past few years. When she had first seen Vanessa naked she had been surprised, there were no stretch marks, no silver lines, no wobbly bits, it had almost made her worry. Almost. As much as that first night was about Vanessa and showing her what is was like to be with a women, it was also about allowing her to explore another woman's body. For a fleeting moment Charity felt self conscious about her body, she needn't of worried, Vanessa had been fascinated by all of Charity, her fingers traced every line, every flaw. She had later admitted she enjoyed the softness of Charity’s body, the fact she had flaws made Vanessa more confident.

“You’re staring.” Vanessa smiled, her eyes still closed.

“Can’t help myself.” She reached forward and stroked Vanessa’s calf. “I don’t know when you find the time to do Pilates.”

“When you’re working the bar and I am left to put the boys to bed, an hours bliss to myself.”

“And you call Pilates bliss?”

“Not necessarily, but it's time to myself and I always feel better after.” Vanessa cracked open an eye to gauge Charity’s reactions. “You could try it sometime.”

“No thank you Vanessa.” She gave her a shove. “I am quite content thank you very much, besides I was told by a certain someone they love my wobbly bits.”

“Stop watching Bridget Jones.”


End file.
